Ear I Am

The Side remembered - Issue One, Peter Hooton, Pat Nevin, Frank Skinner

2012-02-06T16:35:00.001Z

It's a while since I had look back at an old issue of The Side magazine. I've fondly remembered old copies on this blog before, but I stumbled across another batch when I was up in the loft the other week.

This one, with a shaggy haired Peter Hooton on the front cover was the first one we put together. They were great days. Somehow we managed to put out a 48 page mag that had just two pages of advertising. Even the most novice publisher would predict that it wasn't really sustainable over the long term but we had great fun doing it.

The Farm singer was interviewed at Birkenhead Park I think, where he was taking part in a regular five-a-side fixture with various Half Man Half Biscuit and Kevin Sampson types. His was a good interview and, a few weeks later, he popped into our poky little Crosby offices to see us when the mag came out. He was a nice bloke.

I conducted my own first ever 'celebrity interview' for this issue. It was with Pat Nevin, who was one of my Tranmere heroes back then (still is of course) with the interview taking place in some dingy weights room at Tranmere's training ground.

It ended up being a decent piece when it finally appeared in print, but I don't know how. I was cacking it when I met the bloke and I was shaking like a leaf all the way through our conversation. He probably thought I was a right freak.

I eventually got into my stride though and got less star struck as time went on. By the time issue one had been put to bed I had also interviewed Jimmy Case, David Unsworth and Peter Reid's brother, Shaun, who was playing for Rochdale.

A few days after the magazine came out, I distinctly remember one of the lads in the office telling me there was someone on the phone for me, calling about an article I had written about him. It was Bob Latchford and he wanted to say he was really pleased with it. Unreal.

Also in this issue we interviewed Frank Skinner, who was at the height of his Fantasy Football fame. I don't think he understood anything about our little magazine but he did the interview all the same, so good on him.

And current Radio Merseyside breakfast DJ Tony Snell made an appearance too. He was at Radio City then and we managed to wangle a pair of brand new adidas predators, which had just been launched, for him to wear when he played for the Radio City footie team. He gave us a few plugs on air as a thank you but in the end the station's advertising department got involved and told him he had to stop giving us free publicity.

Did I appear in the video for Understanding Jane by the Icicle Works?

2012-01-17T16:21:00.002Z

I know I still bang on about him now, but between about 1984 and about 1987, along with Mike Scott and Ian Muir, Ian McNabb was my absolute hero. With big shaggy hair, proper rock and roll boots, a great looking guitar and more catchy indie pop rock anthems than you could shake a stick at, he was what pop stars were meant to be in my book.

I was bemused as to why his band, The Icicle Works, didn't have more hits. I honestly couldn't understand why the rest of the country wasn't in the queue with me at HMV on Church Street, waiting to buy 7", 12" and tape versions of Understanding Jane when it came out (in 1986 I think). It's still an absolutely brilliant song.

Mad stalker that I was, I even went along to Ainsdale Beach to see the band shoot the video. Mark Jones announced on Radio City the day before that they were looking for extras to appear in it and that everyone was welcome to just turn up.

I had to bunk off school to make the trip. I remember the girl I was going out with at the time turning up at the train station in her school uniform, having decided to do the same as me. I was p*****d off no end at this, although I've no idea why. I guess I thought she would be cramping my style because obviously I would have run off with the band and lived the life of a roadie, had I not have had to get her back to her mum and dad's house in Bromborough in time for tea.

Even so, for me, the whole day was a brush with stardom. My 12" single warped in the heat but I did get the cover signed by all three members of the band, which obviously madethe record priceless, even though it was unplayable.

I've still got really vivid memories of smallest details of the day. The band drank cans of Carlsberg. They seemed to disappear into the loos on the 'tour bus' pretty often too. I had no idea why. Ian turned up fashionably later than everyone else, driving what I think was an Opel Manta. I think it actually appears in the video. A boxer dog appeared on set and no one could get rid of it so they just had to shoot the film anyway, with it yapping away in the foreground. I took photographs on my mum's rubbish camera. I think all the cool people just wanted me to go away.

I think the single peaked at something like number 50 and I don't actually remember ever seeing the video appear on TV at the time, so I had no idea if I appeared in it myself. I didn't as it turns out but, thanks to the magic of YouTube, I have unearthed the original video.

Sleeveless grandad shirt, bootlace tie, skin tight black jeans. Hmmm. Did I really want to look like that?

Book review: Paul Lake, I'm Not Really Here

2012-01-06T20:47:00.001Z

I don't usually write book reviews. Mostly this is because, by the time I get round to reading anything good, everyone else in the world has already read it three times.

Paul Lake's book is worth a mention though, on the grounds that I think I read the whole lot in four days, which is a miracle for me. It's also topical. I know a load of people who, like me, had it on their Christmas list and so are probably about to read it, have just finished it or are doing so already.

I'm Not Really Here has got rave reviews, which is fair enough in the football autobiography category I guess, although Oliver Holt's claim that "It's the best book I've read for a long time...." seems a bit over the top.

If I was going to describe it I would say half of it (about page 200 onwards) is one of the best football books ever written. The first half describes Lakey growing up, getting spotted by City, being supported by his down-to-earth folks, getting signed, being excited, being a young star etc - all standard stuff. If that kind of thing floats your boat though, and you're not a City fan, I would head for Robbie Fowler's autobiography instead. His anecdotes of being the young scruffy kid making waves in the Liverpool first team are superb. I laughed my head off reading how he once got a lift home to his mum's little terrace in Liverpool 8 off Kenny Dalglish. Priceless stuff. Go and read it if you haven't before.

But, anyway, back to Paul Lake's book. Where it really comes into its own is when he got injured - and he sure did get injured, again, again, again, again and again. He says he doesn't want to be remembered as the bloke with the injuries, but in some ways his slow mental recuperation is one of his greatest achievements. Lesser men would have been crushed by such persistent misfortune - and his mind has had as many setbacks as his knee.

Any football fan already knows the book doesn't have an obviously uplifting ending either. He didn't get his playing career back and, so far anyway, he hasn't yet gone on to manage City, or anyone, to a shedload of titles - or at all.

By the end of the book though he seems to have found a place where he feels comfortable in himself, which makes it a great story about human spirit and the way people cope with adversity. Ultimately, whatever happens, you wake up tomorrow and life goes on.

Sheffield Wednesday 2 Tranmere Rovers 1, League One, 2 January 2012

2012-01-03T17:25:00.000Z

I know that all fans are biased when it comes to football, but surely I'm one of the few who is biased AGAINST my own team, Tranmere Rovers.

You see, when I read the post match reports in the local papers this morning and see some of the tweets fizzing around between Rovers supporters who watched the game yesterday, I realise I need a new pair of rose tinted glasses.

Everyone, including me, seems to agree that Wednesday absolutely steamrollered us in the first half - but am I alone in thinking that Sheff Weds, good League One side as they may be, are hardly Barcelona? Our defending in the first half an hour was appalling - in a 'we are going down' kind of way. We hardly got a tackle in and seemed out of position all the time. How much we miss Goodison at the back is untrue.

And everyone, including me, seems to agree that we had most of the possession in the 2nd half - but so what? I seem to be alone in thinking that possession is all very well but our problem is that the very few shots we have all come from outside the box. We have very little invention in the final third. This may be due to Showumni and Tiryaki not showing enough imagination in their positional play, but I tend to agree with those who think that Les's determination to stick with 4-3-3 (which is actually 4-5-1) is the real issue. We play five midfield players in a square line passing the ball to each other in the front of the opposition back four. Forward passes are a rarity - except from defender Ash Taylor whose only route is route one, HOOF!

And everyone, including me, agrees that we could have snatched a draw in the end. A great effort from Welsh (from outside the box) did deserve a goal, but surely I'm not the only person who thinks it was all too little too late. We only looked dangerous when our 39 year old injured centre half Ian Goodison came on as striker for the last ten minutes. Our forwards and attack minded midfielders should feel a little bit ashamed of that, if you ask me.

Our crowd was quiet too, so maybe it wasn't just me. Tranmere fans are usually quite vociferous at away games but I think everyone found it hard to get excited until it was nearly stoppage time.

One bright spot though. That's six out of 92 done in my quest to get young Sam around all the grounds in the country before he's a grown up. Well done Sam!

My new social media rules for 2012

2012-01-01T13:28:00.001Z

There were a few times in 2011 that I thought about just shutting this blog down, so infrequently did I update it. I'm glad I didn't though. I might not be as prolific a blogger as I once was, but I'm glad Ear I Am is still around. It's a great place for me to vent my spleen whenever I feel the need.

I am setting some new rules for myself on social media stuff though. I've disconnected twitter from Facebook for a start. Facebook is where I talk to my friends. Twitter is much more public. I also tweet more than I want to update my Facebook status, which probably wicks off my Facebook friends.

And, given that I swear like a trooper, it's probably better if I keep some thoughts and posts for my pals on FB who already know that behind my mask of middle class respectability I am just a foul mouthed *** from the wrong side of the Mersey.

I'll use this blog more too - and try and make it a bit more interesting I suppose. More pics, more video, less words. Maybe.

Anyway, I've just had a quick look at Google Analytics. Apparently this blog got over 15,000 unique visitors last year. I've got no idea if that's a lot or a little, but here are the top 10 posts that people read:

The End Fanzine Blog
Review, Half Man Half Biscuit, 90 Bisodol (Crimond)
Introducing Solly Blog
Ten tips on car boot sales
Travellers Rest, Lowton
Guest blog: The greatest trainers of all time
How much is your football club worth?
Review: Paul Heaton, The 8th, Manchester International Festival
Hot Wheels Wall Tracks review
Review: The Waterboys, Ramsbottom Festival, 18th September 2011

Happy Christmas

2011-12-24T09:39:00.000Z

Is Earlestown Market Britain's Favourite Market?

2011-12-21T15:10:00.000Z

People of Newton-le-willows may find this hard to believe, but Earlestown Market is up for a national award.

Somehow, it's got itself on the list of markets being considered for the Britain's Favourite Market award.

Now, anyone who has been to the place might scratch their head at how this has happened but hey, it's cliched to be cynical at Christmas, so, go on, get behind it. Click on this link to cast your vote or, if you want to find out more first, there's an article in the St Helens Star that explains all you need to know.

If only for the fact that Scully the St Helens fishmonger turns up every Friday, it gets my vote.

Liverpool poor in defence

2011-12-21T14:57:00.003Z

David Davies is reported as saying that the Suarez racism case was among the 'most difficult of modern times'.

Notwithstanding the UK football media's determination to gorge itself to death on over analysis of every detail of life in the Premier League, that's just rubbish.

There is nothing complicated about it. All this 'cultural differences' claptrap is a complete red herring. Suarez admitted he called Evra something that includes reference to the colour of his skin. His apologists say that everyone else has misunderstood what he meant when he called him 'whatever he called him'.

Well let's just think about that. Was Suarez using the term to make a factual point, like, say, "Patrice Evra, you are a black man."? Obviously not. Was he using the term in an affectionate way, as in, say "Oh, Patrice, that was a great tackle, old bean/chap/my friend/dear boy/etc"? Of course not.

Which only leaves one more explanation. he called Evra a name relating to his race and meant it to be an insult.

That is racist behaviour. There is nothing complicated about that at all, in anyone's language, and it's disingenuous of Liverpool FC to refuse to accept that point. I like the club a lot, but its response to this whole affair is disappointing.

I think it's excellent that the FA have put a marker in the sand in this case. Eight games sounds a bit harsh but at least people know where they stand. I don't think that football is racist but anyone who does think it's OK to hurl racist abuse at someone on the grounds that they 'don't really mean it' has just been fired a warning shot.

Of course, I'm well interested in what happens to John Terry now. I don't like his image at all and would love for him to get a long overdue comeuppance, although that doesn't make him a racist of course. However if he's guilty, his punishment must be at least the same or even more severe than that which Suarez has received. If it isn't then Liverpool really would have grounds for complaint

Snakes alive and spitting mad

2011-12-19T15:22:00.001Z

I've had three trips to see the dentist in the past couple of weeks or so. Not nice and there's more to come I'm sorry to say.

Yet things could certainly be worse. Much, much worse in fact. I could actually have to live on the same street.

My dentist is situated slap bang in the middle of a built up row of terraced houses a couple of miles down the road from Newton-le-willows. Opposite is a pet shop.

Now I have nothing against pet shops but, if you were opening one up in a residential area, surely you would give a bit of thought for the neighbours. Surely you wouldn't decorate the front of your store with a massive 12 ft by 8ft picture of a giant snake.

Anyone who knows me well will vouch for how much I hate snakes but, aside from that, what on earth? This monstrosity is actually the first thing the neighbours who live opposite see when they open the curtains in the morning!

And just while I'm on the subject of my dentist, I'm very grateful indeed that she is sorting out my rotting pegs, painful though it is, but I'm not really quite sure about my fellow patients. I saw this notice up in the waiting room. Good grief what kind of people come here?

Review: Half Man Half Biscuit, Manchester Ritz, plus Lovecraft, 17 December 2011

2011-12-18T15:09:00.005Z

I've heard of Lovecraft a few times. Apparently they're getting talked about in Liverpool, although they are miles apart from the the three or four piece indie-scallywag-Beatle-pop-type stuff for which the city is so famous.

And I must admit I thought they were crap at first. I had a little scout at a couple of their videos on YouTube and found them to be just a bit too odd for me.

But live is a different story and as the warm up to Half Man Half Biscuit's set at the Manchester Ritz, they came across as a proper class act. My mate Pete Corcoran, who I watched the show with last night, said the same - so it must be true - although we had sunk a few pints by that point.

The singer is clearly mad as cheese and I think in their videos that distracts from the fact that he's got a great band of musicians behind him. On stage, the frontman still puts on a show but you get a feel for the music that's being produced by the whole band and it sounds ace. There are seven of them in the full line-up, which is also a good thing in my book. I like bands who fill the stage.

What do they sound like? Well imagine a cross between The Divine Comedy and Dr and the Medics, dressed up as Arcade Fire.

If that sounds like your cup of tea then check them out on iTunes. The singles that you can get hold of on YouTube aren't even their best songs and don't do them justice so give the album a go instead. A copy came my way last night and I like the feel of it.

And if you're wondering, Half Man Half Biscuit were brilliant.

A random blog post on my big coat

2011-12-16T09:50:00.001Z

A lot of people comment on my coat. I think that's mostly because when I wear it I look more coat than human, because it is very big - so it can be a conversation piece.

Some people have a favourite pair of shoes. My friend Des has a penchant for slippers. Other people only feel comfortable when they're wearing pyjamas. With me it's this coat.

It cost me about £80 in a sale a few years ago. Since then it's proved to be an absolute bargain. No other coat in the world is as warm. You could be in sub-Arctic temperatures and all you need to wear is a t-shirt and this coat.

Obviously this makes it suitable for a whole lot of stuff. I wear it to the match. It can even keep the cold out at Boundary Park. I wear it sometimes when I'm at the kids' football training (with the wind sweeping off the M6, the astroturf at Selwyn Jones is officially the coldest outdoor facility in the North West). I even put it on over my suit when work demands I have to wear one. I look a complete pillock like that but, hey, I'm warm.

Mary, Mary, not so contrary

2011-12-14T09:59:00.002Z

Is anyone else bemused at how much exposure has been given to the government's research into what's wrong with Britain's High Streets?

Apparently there are lots of empty shops in our town centres. Gosh, I hadn't realised. They are "degenerating or failing too". Blimey, there's insight for you.

And two of the culprits behind this community Armageddon are online shopping and big supermarkets.

Who would have thought it, eh?

I don't know how much it cost the government to find out what anyone with a pair of eyes and half a clue about life in 21st century UK could tell them for free, but it was too much, whatever it was. I just cannot believe that the state of Britain's High Streets is news to anyone.

And the solutions put forward by Mary Portas are not much better. I do like the idea of a National Market Day (although it will never happen) but the other stuff is just astonishingly obvious. Cut some of the red tape, introduce free town centre parking, agree less prohibitive business rates and put an end to clueless local councillors deciding who can open up where are when are the kinds of proposals I would expect from a sixth former. They are all good ideas of course and I agree with most of what she says, but they are hardly road to Damascus visions.

The fact that none of these clearly sensible solutions has been implemented before makes you wonder if there is any real will among the national powers-that-be to improve the likes of Earlestown or Birkenhead.

Of course the biggest single step would be to curtail the relentless march of the Big Four supermarkets and some of the major chains. Rightly or wrongly (and most people know my view on that) that would make a difference. It's interesting that Mary hasn't recommended a moratorium on further out of town shopping destinations though. According to the Indy her PR company works for a number of them - but that's probably just a coincidence.

B-52's, Roam: One of my favourite songs #1

2011-12-11T20:32:00.001Z

Blimmin' 'eck. I thought it would be easy, but it isn't. Inspired by Michael's attempt at The Marple Leaf's Big List of My Favourite Songs, I thought I'd jot down a quick list of my own top 100.

No such luck. In fact, no chance at all. My short list is far too long, which I'm told is the order of these things unless you spend two years or so whittling the list down.

So I thought I would take things more slowly. I've got a very long list that I could share on the Ear I Am blog but if I do it one at a time, then I'll be a bit more choosy - so I've persuaded myself anyway.

I'll bet I change my mind a million times before I end up with my favourite 100 so I'll start with one I know is on the list for sure. This actually sums up my record collection: bit indie, slightly mainstream, sometimes kooky, nice harmonies, lovely melody and a singer who looks HOT!!!!*

*as a 42 year old married dad of a few, am I allowed to describe a pop singer as hot? Too late.....

Mitre Malmo training balls: don't waste your money

2011-12-04T11:04:00.002Z

Although some folk think I do blab on a lot about Newton-le-willows under 8s (b) - of which I am the 'manager', in fact I say very little.

Whether it's on this blog, on twitter or on Facebook I generally stick to to the rules of never mentioning the kids (expect for my own, kid 2) and never publishing scores or commenting on our team's performance (well, not much anyway).

However, as far as I'm aware, there is nothing to stop me discussing equipment, particularly when I'm not happy about it.

People who are as old as me will probably remember Mitre as being THE football to own. These days nearly every ball is leather but when I was a kid a casey was a luxury and only to be used on grass - and a Mitre casey was the daddy of them all.

That might still be true actually. If you're paying a few quid for a matchball, Mitre seem to do the job.

But if it's training balls, you're after, don't go near them with a bargepole. At the start of the season I was given ten Mitre Malmo size 3 training balls. They looked the part and I thought they would last all season.

Not so. Two of them seemed to get 'reappropriated' in the chaos that is pre season training with hundreds of kids running wild while the coaches make valiant Fenton-like attempts to keep them under control.

That left me with eight. I gave one to another team, who were short on equipment, leaving me with seven and I now have none. All of them have burst

Yes, footballs get burst, I know. However, they shouldn't pop under the stress of seven year old kids kicking them too hard - but that's exactly what has happened.

Even worse, two of them have managed to get themselves punctured, while they have been in the kitbag, completely unused!

It's not just me either. One of the lads who runs another of our teams told me he has suffered the same problem. Mitre Malmo training balls have proved to be really poor quality.

I think they cost around £6 each. Not a fortune I know, but when you're buying ten at a time, it's a bit of an issue. DW Sports are flogging two lotto size three balls for eight quid at the moment and so I've bought a load of those instead. In my mind, lotto is an inferior brand to Mitre but, guess what, two months in and they're all still in top condition. When they do go pop I'll be buying them again

The real reason Jeremy Clarkson should be sacked by the BBC

2011-12-02T12:19:00.000Z

The moral indignation of the Great British public really is a delight to behold. At the last count, the BBC had recorded over 21,000 complaints about Jeremy Clarkson.

And not before time I reckon. I don't know why people haven't complained before and in greater numbers. The BBC should give him the boot.

Not that I'm outraged about his apparent slight on public sector workers. Not at all. I have some sympathy for some of their issues but generally (and I never thought I would say this) I agree with Derek Hatton who made the point that there is a lot that public sector workers could complain about, but they need to choose their battles more carefully. A protest against remodelled pension conditions (however unfair they are) is unlikely to strike a chord or achieve much sympathy from the very many poorly paid private sector workers who can't afford any pension whatsoever and will have to work until they drop.

No, I'm more surprised that people haven't complained about Clarkson before on account of him being absolutely shit.

Please can someone explain to me the appeal of this man and his mates? I just don't get it. Here's a fact about his One Show antics: when he said he thought that strikers should be shot he didn't mean it. Of course he didn't. He was being 'funny'. Except he wasn't , was he? Not remotely funny at all.

I don't mean 'not funnny' as in we should be offended (David Prentis, wind your neck in and calm down please). No, I mean 'not funny' as in 'not funny' as in 'Jeremy Clarkson'.

I have actually watched Top Gear before so I'm not talking about something I haven't seen. I watched it and it is excruciating.Three nerds who probably got bullied at school and who get paid a fortune to be boorish while droning on about turbo horsepower and leather interiors. Boring, boring, boring and never, ever, ever funny.

Incidentally, and you may have guessed this already, I do agree with the school of thought that people who drive huge Lamborghinis or the likes are overcompensating for something they are lacking elsewhere.

This is of course why I am totally happy driving a small Toyota Yaris. Comfortable in my own skin, know what I mean?

Is it Christmas already?

2011-11-28T14:01:00.000Z

It's not even December yet, but I'm feeling a bit festive already. There's lots going on.

The Christmas season usually gets underway for me sometime around the end of November with the annual CIPR awards. This year's was held at the Hilton on Deansgate and very good it was too. Felt a bit ropey in the morning but I made life easier for myself by booking a room at The Oxnoble on Liverpool Road. Less than fifty quid. Recommended.

Next up was the 'big' Christmas lights switch on in Earlestown on Friday. Big probably isn't the right word for it to be honest as it's not remotely big but, hey, size isn't everything. What people really turned up for wasn't to see the lights being turned on, it was to hear the kids from a handful of local schools singing Rocking Around the Christmas Tree and few other festive favourites. Kid 2 was in the choir and he seemed to be enjoying himself.

And the other thing that's encouraging festive spirit around these parts are the packages that keep turning up at my door, sent by folk who, for some reason want to get Ear I Am's take on their hot new products.

The latest is Vimto. They've introduced a Christmas drink called Vimto Hot Mulled Berry Punch and a few bottles of the stuff have ended up in my possession somehow. We had a taste test on Friday night, lining up the limited edition seasonal Vimto (RRP £1.89) against a bottle of Yorkshire Punch (a whopping £5.49 from Kenyon Hall Farm). It ended slightly chaotically really. It turns out the only thing the two drinks have in common is their colour so it was a bit of a waste of time but, never mind, kid 2 and kid 3 have been drinking Vimto all weekend so I can see which way their vote went.

In fairness I have soft spot for Vimto and not only because their offices are just down the road from me in Newton-le-Willows. One of my dad's last jobs was working for a shipping company who used to export the stuff. I remember him telling me that Saudi Arabia were the biggest importers of Vimto because it was a completely 'dry' country.

Obviously the word 'dry' has different connotations for an eight year old than it does for a grown man and I remember bouncing into Raeburn Primary School and telling Mrs Lewis that people in Saudi Arabia drank Vimto because there was no rain in the desert.

The Caravan Gallery

2011-11-25T11:08:00.000Z

I really enjoyed visiting the smallest art gallery I've ever seen this week. The Caravan Gallery is a superb if slightly odd project from Jan Williams and Chris Teasdale. You can find out more about what they do at The Caravan Gallery website but, in short, they've been touring the UK for years photographing some of the absurdities and curiosities that exist in everyday life.

They publish compilations in book form and promote them by touring the caravan and parking up in public areas so that people can have a 'tour' of the gallery to see what they're all about it.

I saw them outside Manchester Oxford Road station this week and took 'the tour'. They've got a new book out called Is Britain Great? 3, which they were promoting at The Cornerhouse.

The stuff they do is right down my street. Among my favourite pictures was the pub in Portsmouth, I think it was called The Bar Stand, where locals have messed about with the signage and so was now called The Bastard. Brilliant.

I spoke to Jan herself. I told her some of my own tales from Newton-le-willows, including the Mini Metro with the green Wayne Waynetta windscreen sticker that reads "STATUS QUO - LET'S ROCK" and the Chinese chippy that used to be next door to the amusement arcade and that was called The Win Soon.

She thought that was brilliant and laughed her head off. Maybe they'll give Newton-le-willows a visit sometime. There is a least a gallery's worth of absurdity they could get on record around here.

Happy birthday Kenny

2011-11-18T13:07:00.000Z

We had a good night at Mrs H's dad's 60th birthday the other week. I don't think I've mentioned him on this blog before, but Kenny Green was a top rugby player back in the day. I can't remember all the teams he played for - Swinton I think, maybe Fulham, a couple of others as well and I know he did play for Leigh.

Mrs H and her oldest brother and sister have memories of him playing and a lot of other people round these parts remember his playing days very well too. Andy Gregory spoke at an event that was organised in his name once and Des Drummond was among the guests at the party last week.

They held a raffle and an auction on the night and raised over two grand for St Rocco's Hospice, which was a great effort by everyone who came along. Sam had his moment in spotlight, being asked onto the stage to draw the winning tickets in the raffle.

Good on him, he cheated, having a good rummage around the box until he saw one of the tickets with my name on. I was quite chuffed until I found out he hadn't won me the signed Warrington shirt, just some women's bath salts.

Status Quo drummer spotted in Newton-le-willows

2011-11-18T12:51:00.003Z

Things I never thought I would hear from one of my kids #5632. "Dad, the drummer from Status Quo came into our school today".

In fairness Sam and Adam come out with all kinds of rubbish (I think they've inherited that from me) so I tend to take most things with a pinch of salt, but this time it turns out it was true.

Jeff Rich was indeed the drummer for Status Quo and toured with them for 16 years by all accounts. He's hung up his leather pants now though and, while he's still a drummer, he's a bit less rock n roll these days.

He runs the Jeff Rich Drum Masterclass, which basically consists of him visiting schools and getting the kids interested in all things percussion. This week it was the turn of Sam's school in Newton-le-willows.

It must have been good because now kid 2 is 'banging on' about wanting a drum for Christmas. I'm not sure there's enough time for Father Christmas to knock one up now though. We'll see.

Nothing to read here

2011-11-11T06:34:00.000Z

My general rule is that if someone has taken the trouble to post a comment on this blog, even if it's just slagging me off, then I should publish it.

However, if you are the person who had something to say about my post on community radio in Newton-le-willows, then I'm sorry but you won't find your comment on here. I suspect your accusation is almost certainly libelous.

And, on a different note, if someone wants to make a point, whether good or bad, why be anonymous?

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 0, Colchester Utd 0, League One, 5 November 2011

2011-11-06T10:52:00.003Z

It's funny old game, football. Two people can watch a game and come up with completely polar interpretations of the team they've just seen play.

Take the Sunday Mirror for example. In its match report on yesterday's game, the paper commented on Tranmere's excellent home form. We've lost just one in nine at Prenton Park, the reporter correctly pointed out.

It's obvious how we've managed to put together this run too. We have a great goalkeeper in Fon Williams, a mean defence, a very energetic midfield and the wide players, currently Akins and McGurk, have improved so much from last season, when they both looked well out of their depth, it's untrue.

Where we're falling short though is scoring goals. Yes, the Sunday Mirror is right. We have lost only one of nine games at home, but what he failed to mention was that in those nine games we've scored just eight goals. That's less than one a game.

In fairness, we peppered the goal yesterday, but most of the shots came from outside the box or from set pieces. How we would benefit from a player like Chris Greenacre whose only job was to hang around the penalty area and get twenty goals a season.

A bloke I know quite well, who is close to some of the players and who knows a fair bit about Les Parry's managerial style and his preferred approach, reckons we have absolutely no chance of a striker scoring prolifically because of the way Les sets his team out in a 4-3-3 system.

I don't understand enough about football to know if that's true or not, but I do know that if we don't score more often, we'll not get the play-off place that so many people seem think is possible this season.

Maybe the answer is close to home. I saw this young lad demonstrate superb finishing skills in he pre-match warm yesterday:

I thought that was quite a finish but a minute later he showed it wasn't just a fluke, sending the keeper the other way with his second attempt:

Impressed? Yes, so was I. Apparently his name is Kid 2, aka the flying left winger for Newton-le-willows Under 8s (b). I'll bet his manager wishes he'd finish like that more often against kids of his own age!

Open letter to Newton-le-willows businesses

2011-11-04T14:55:00.001Z

OK, here's a plea to businesses in Newton-le-willows - or to generous business types from further afield for that matter. See this lovely yellow and blue kit sported by Newton-le-willows FC (under 8s (b)) 'star' left winger Sam Hughes? Yes? Well, we don't have it any more.

Our ramshackle gang of ten kids (unbeaten in their last two games) are playing in hand-me-down kits that seem to be a least five years old - and we are desperate for a sponsor.

It doesn't cost as much as you think and I know a bloke who would PR the whole thing to death for anyone who stumped up a couple of quid to help us look the part.

So come on, let's be having you! Who can help? I'll bet there are loads of Newton-le-willows businesses out there who want to invest in the local community but just need the right cause to get behind.

Nigel Hughes, celebrity stalker, strikes again

2011-11-02T10:48:00.002Z

One of my favourite memories from my time at Leeds Polytechnic (as was) concerned a lad that lived in our shared house and his 'developing' taste in music.

Rupert (not his real name) had clearly been brought up in a nice house in a nice town by nice parents in Cheshire and he threw himself into student life with some gusto - getting pissed at the Poly Bop, snogging drunken girls just before they collapsed, claiming to know it all about left wing politics and gathering together an excruciatingly cool record collection with indecent haste. Before he started uni it was all Def Leppard and Whitesnake. Within a month of 'leaving home', he was claiming to have been a lifelong Mark E Smith fan. You know the type.

Except, superbly, it was all an act. Rupert was quite clearly going to go on and marry a nice girl after qualifying as an accountant. His future social life wold involve quaffing posh wine at dinner parties and tapping his foot along to Sting. His love of indie music was not quite as deep as he claimed.

This came to light in superb fashion one Saturday morning when we were all sitting watching the Chart Show on TV. The 'new release of the week' came on, much to Rupert's delight. "Oh wow man, I just love this song," he said (and he really did talk like that). "It's so cool."

I hadn't heard it before and, frankly, thought it sounded shit. Even so, to make conversation I asked him who it was. "Don't you know?" he droned in his usual Know-All style. "I thought you were into indie, man."

"It's the new single by James. It's called Halo. It's brilliant."

Oh Rupert, you plank. He had of course fallen in love with the 'brilliant' new single by the mighty Halo James.

I only remembered this tale yesterday when I found myself standing outside the Hacienda flats where a blue plaque was being unveiled in honour of James.

I hadn't planned to be there. I was just passing after having been at a meeting and I wondered what all the fuss was about.

And the great thing was that, while everyone else was crowding around the door, the band actually turned up from the other direction, with Tim Booth almost bumping into me. The way he looked at me, I honestly think he believed I was part of the security team that had 'obviously' been laid on for him.

As well as getting a full on profile of my double chin, you can see from the pic that he really is a strange looking bloke. Mad shaven head, crazy beard, proper outlandish loon-like trousers. He's a proper pop star for sure.

Except for his chosen method of transport. I think everyone was expecting chauffeur-driven limos to bring them to the ceremony, but the band actually turned up in two Street Cabs taxis. It was hilarious. I even heard two of the blokes from the band arguing over who was supposed to be paying the fare. Rock and roll!

Occupy Manchester, for some reason or other

2011-10-28T12:01:00.003Z

You might not think it, but I do have a bit of the latent anarchist about me, if there is such a thing. Overall, the establishment has a fair bit to answer for in my book.

So I'm quite interested in all this Occupy London/WallStreet/wherever stuff that's going on. People have a few gripes and it seems they're not for moving until someone listens.

It was in that spirit that I stopped at the site of the Occupy Manchester protest a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't exactly Greenham Common, but a handful of kids had pitched tents by St Peter's Square and had written some slogans on pieces of cardboard.

I don't know what possessed me but I decided to ask one of the protesters what they were protesting about. I had time to kill before the train home.

You'll think I'm making this up but the lad who I asked first went sheepish all of sudden, blushed, did a kind of emo shuffle, put his hands in his pockets and then called his mate over to ask him what they were protesting about. I kid you not.

It gets better though. The lad who had been called in to respond to my rather challenging question, said: "You know, mortgages and that stuff."

I pointed out to him that he didn't actually seem old enough to vote, never mind have a mortgage so wondered if that was really a good thing for him to protesting about. Weren't there other more important matters on his mind at this point of his life? Like girls maybe? Or Merrydown Cider?

He thought about it for a second or two, mumbled something about 'the government is just a coalition' (see how being called a coalition has become an insult these days?) and then shuffled away from me.

That's that sorted then. Viva le revolution!

Silent dancing to the Corrie killer at the Some Comms awards

2011-10-21T13:02:00.003Z

I was at the Some Comms Awards this week, hoping to give a few of my pals a pat on the back when they picked up a gong or two. Fido, Smoking Gun, One, I-COM and Juice were among those I wanted to win, although as it turned out only Rick Guttridge's lot actually got lucky. Well done Rick.

It was interesting to see how many PR firms were shortlisted this year in what is really a 'digital' awards scheme. Only three years ago that just wouldn't have happened, so it does look like good people in the industry are at last getting to grips more with what the whole social media/digital/online PR thing is about.

Anyway, I tend to keep work-related stuff away from the Ear I Am blog, so that's enough of all that. What I really wanted to report was my second great silent disco experience in under a month.

I'm sure I'm miles behind everyone else here but I only discovered silent disco at the Ramsbottom Festival. I loved it then so you can imagine how excited I was to see that it was down as the post awards entertainment at the Hilton.

It really is hilarious watching middle aged suits (me) who have had too much red wine (me) jigging about to some kind of 1990s Manchester indie pop (me) when no else watching has a clue what's going on.

Like at Ramsbottom you can switch between the DJs that are playing. Predictably I stuck with the Madchester stuff that was on offer from one of them.

I wasn't actually sure who the DJs were, but when I had a closer look I did recognise one of the blokes. Given his track record I'm surprised there wasn't murder on the dancefloor. Boom, boom!

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall at Manchester Food and Drink Festival

2011-10-17T09:59:00.001Z

I once read somewhere that cooking was the new rock 'n' roll. Well if that's true, then it's the Cliff Richard version, judging by the crowd at the Manchester Food & Drink Festival's live performance from Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.

Let's put this in context first though, before I start slagging the whole thing off. I love Hugh. I think he is absolutely ace and if I was a successful chef I would do exactly what he did with River Cottage and bugger off to the country to live the dream while still earning a small fortune. An excellent plan.

And I don't know what I expected with the MFDF event really. He was charming enough on stage. He was up to his usual stuff about sustainability and how you can eat superbly without spending much time in the supermarkets and the audience, made up of ever so nice people, absolutely lapped it up.

Except me and Mrs H really. We'd paid the best part of 25 quid between us and I think we had the general impression that we could have just spent the money down the pub - or at least at one of the fabulous food stalls crammed into Albert Square.

The event was advertised as being 1pm to 3pm. For starters, the doors weren't even open at 1.15. Hundreds of middle class foodie fans were lined up outside the tent, which seemed a bit unnecessary.

And when you did get inside, there wasn't that much of a view. There was a smallish plasma screen showing the food being prepared by Hugh but that was pretty useless if you were sitting at the back like us - and actually, we came out not having a clue what were the veggie dishes he had served up.

Maybe that was the problem. His new show (which I'll still be watching of course!) is all about veg and how you don't need much meat or fish, if any. For committed carnivores like me and Mrs H that's a tough one to swallow - although I did notice she slipped a few crispy parsnips onto the plate for Sunday Lunch this week - and there just wasn't enough to smell or get excited about in the live show.

And remember that 1pm to 3pm running order? He was off stage by 2.20 and spent the rest of his slot signing copies of his book that you could buy from a pop-up Waterstones that was set up at the back of the tent. Hmmmm.

WA12 Community Radio, Newton-le-willows has its own radio station

2011-10-12T13:25:00.005Z

This the kind of news I love to hear. Newton-le-willows is getting its own radio station.

WA12 Radio, by all accounts, is a community radio station for Newton-le-willows and Earlestown that is due to go live at Christmas this year. It looks like it is being put together some blokes who are in it just for the fun of it and because they've got a bit of community spirit in them.

Good on them. I think I'd like to be involved somehow.

There's lots of good stuff goes on around Newton-le-willows but lots of it is disappearing too. Local pubs are closing, I thought Ariete would encourage a few more restaurants to open up on the High Street but that hasn't really happened and I heard on the grapevine that the only place that does decent live music, The Griffin, is going to be a Wetherspoons soon (Update: Apparently this is not so - see the comments below).

And the town lost its last attempt at a local news source a few years ago (the four page wrap that was the Newton Guardian).

There isn't even much you can find online about the place. You'll not trip over any real news about Newton-le-willows on this blog, just mickey taking really, and one bloke who does have a website about the town told me that he once tried to set up a kind of hyperlocal news site for Newton and Earlestown but just got a load of grief from folk who didn't agree with his content.

So hats off to the fellas behind this new attempt at some kind of community portal that looks like it might be a good resource for Newton-le-willows, but might also be fun too.

I wonder, how could I get involved? I could do a bit of PR for it or help with a bit of website content maybe. Nigel Hughes PR could actually be a sponsor for 100 quid, I suppose - and it would all be for a good cause.

Could I be a DJ though? What do you reckon? Newton as a town is not really cutting edge in my experience. Do you reckon they're ready for a not very eclectic mix of Spiritualized, Half Man Half Biscuit and well-past-its-sell-by-date Liverpool indie pop?

Dear Old Mother Songs cover What a Life by Noel Gallagher

2011-10-10T10:22:00.001Z

I've written before about Mrs H's cousin Sean. Him and his mates used to have a group called the Steamboat Band who were really very good. Sean was the singer when they got a deal off Polydor and released a few records.

He's told me he's no longer interested in being on stage these days. I don't know if he thinks he's too old for leather pants and pony tails and all that lark, but he says that he's more interested in writing stuff now - with the hope that some young, up and coming kids pick up on his songs and add them to their set list.

When I say 'he', I should actually say 'they', because Dear Old Mother Songs isn't just Sean. There's four of them writing the tunes - Sean, Chris Rose, Danny Maxwell and Stuart Wiff Smith. Previously they played together in a band called Rookie.

To get a bit of a buzz going, they've recorded an EP, just as a showcase for their songs. Like I say, they're not too interested in being a band, but the whole music business has changed these days. It's quite straightforward to get your stuff onto itunes and I know they've sold a few copies already.

Anyway, the EP has eight tracks on. You can get hold of it from itunes here - seven of the songs are written by Sean and his mates and the other is a cover version of What a Life by Noel Gallagher. If you want to know what they sound like, here it is on Soundcloud:

01 AKA...What a Life! (In The Style by Ameritz

Hot Wheels Wall Tracks review

2011-09-27T15:50:00.004Z

Regular visitors to this blog will know that, as well as moaning about Tranmere Rovers, mocking the good people of Newton-le-willows and reporting on various social events as if I'm some kind of man about town, I also use Ear I Am to share some stuff about my family.

Because of this I'm on various lists of 'Mummy bloggers' even though I'm a Dad, but hey, it is the 21st Century.

Believe it or not, this means I get approached from time to time by various companies who ask me if I want to write about their products. Usually it's a no - although I did make an honourable exception to report on a great McCain's oven chips social media campaign once. They rewarded me with some gardening tools for the kids and a load of vouchers for frozen oven chips.

The latest message to pop up in my inbox came from Mattel, who are pushing some new Hot Wheels toys. Did I want to sample them? 'Obviously' I'm not interested in using my kids as stooges to market commercial products, but Adam loves Hot Wheels and if there's some for free, we'll have them!

Fair play, the Mattel people duly sent through a huge package containing boxes of their new Wall Tracks range - so I guess I'm duty bound to review it.

It's a good idea. Those of you whose kids have Hot Wheels at home will know that it takes up loads of space on the floor, which can be a pain. Wall Tracks, as the name suggests, stick to the wall so don't clutter the place up so much.

It needs an adult to set the thing up but it says on the box that it takes 20 minutes, but it's less than that, which is a relief. I remember spending six hours building a playmobil fort once (build time: 1 hour. Eh?).

The only problem I can see is that the tracks won't attach to wallpaper. This is an issue for us. We have a decent sized four bedroom house but I could only find one small area of bare wall where I could fix the tracks. This meant I couldn't use everything I'd been sent as samples.

Anyway Adam seems to like it so well done, Mattel people. Here's what the expert thought...

Review: The Waterboys, Ramsbottom Festival, 18th September 2011

2011-09-20T14:37:00.001Z

I don't like saxophones.

There. I've said it. The instrument that is generally regarded as the epitome of cool just sounds like a rasping, screeching, raspberry played at high volume, if you ask me.

Of course this doesn't fit well with my almost 30 year love affair with The Waterboys. For the first three LPs at least, brass and Anto Thistlethwaite's sax featured very high up in the mix.

But here's my secret. I think the sax has ruined many a good Waterboys song. A Girl Called Johnny, All The Things She Gave Me, Rags. I could go on. They would all have sounded a lot better with something a bit more subtle.

But guess what? At the Rammy Festival, they only went and played all those tunes WITH NO SAX. Just a rock band and an electric fiddle. Guess what else? It sounded absolutely brilliant.

There's not much I've got left to say about The Waterboys. I've written about them so many times and bored so many people in so many pubs that I've run out of superlatives. They just do a fabulous show and if jumping up and down to a Fisherman's Blues encore doesn't get your juices going, there's no hope for you.

Truth is I probably wouldn't have gone to #rammyfestival if The Waterboys weren't playing, but I'm glad I did. The other stuff on the main stage was good. Capercaillie got the crowd going and I thought Otis Gibbs was quite good in a strange Seasick Steve kind of way. The Jay Tamkin Band, who were playing inside in the warm, were OK too.

But most of all, I just liked the way the organisers had managed to put together a festival at all. It's the most middle class gathering I've ever attended. There were Craghoppers everywhere, even the loos were clean and the two bobbies I saw mustn't have had to do a stitch all weekend. I'll bet you it's the easiest overtime they've ever had.

Nothing wrong with that of course.

Away from the main stage, the silent disco was a highlight. It was brilliant seeing people jumping around to Girls on Film, oblivious to the fact that anyone who wasn't wearing headphones couldn't hear a peep. That was a great idea and I just wished I was there for Clint Boon playing in the tent on the Saturday.

And the food. Oh the food. As Rammy is a bit out of the way for me I decided to drive, which meant I couldn't ship my usual allowance of pre-gig beers. Instead I opted to eat. By the end of my six hours on site I'd made my way through a seafood paella, chips and gravy, a chicken burger and five beef and vegetable momos from The Tibetan Kitchen.

I then headed back to the silent disco to dance it all off.

Review, Half Man Half Biscuit, 90 Bisodol (Crimond)

2011-09-20T14:10:00.001Z

I've had a copy of the new Half Man Half Biscuit LP for a few weeks now, but I've had to keep schtum on pain of death. The nice chap who supplied me with this secret stash did so on condition that it didn't end up on the internet.

I've been bursting to tell everyone how good it is though and, seeing as how the album is now being dissected bit by bit by obsessives over at the Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric Project (some strange people on that message board if you ask me), I think I'm allowed to have my say on it now.

It's brilliant.

I suppose I could explain further. It's the best produced LP they've made, chiefly because they hired out Parr Street rather than recording it in someone's bedroom, so it sounds quite polished, for HMHB anyway.

I think I like a lot of the songs that other HMHB fans think are throwaways. For example, Joy Division Oven Gloves isn't that good if you ask me, but King of Hi Vis has me laughing out loud. I think that's the total opposite of everyone else.

And the same has happened on this LP. Those lot on the message boards don't seem to think much of RSVP, but I think it's ace and is one of the best of the new tracks. My other favourites include The Coroner's Footnote and Descent Of The Stiperstones, which is based on a real walking trip Nigel Blackwell enjoyed with Geoff Davies.

The real crowd pleaser at live shows will probably be Rock And Roll Is Full Of Bad Wools. It's spiteful and hilarious at the same time and will ring a chord with every football fan who has watched indie music kids who've never been to a real match but somehow wangle themselves a place next to Hells Bells Chamberlain on the Soccer AM couch.

Anyway, that's enough of that. If you want to hear more, go out and buy a copy and, if you want to hear some of the new songs live, the band have just announced a gig on at The Ritz on Saturday 17th December. It's an early start with the band on stage at 8pm so I can only presume Tranmere's most famous fan won't be making the trip away to Stevenage on the same day.

The Polyveldts, supporting The La's, O2 Academy, Liverpool, 9 September 2011

2011-09-20T13:42:00.003Z

The support band at The La's was another local gang called The Polyveldts. They were really quite good, which I mentioned in a tweet during the show.

Such is the power of twitter, one of the lads in the band, James Unsworth, contacted me to say thanks for tweeting nice things about them and then later he sent a message to say they had uploaded a few songs from the show onto YouTube. Share them if you feel like is the general idea.

So here they are. My favourite of their songs was a new one apparently, called Culture Vulture. It's catchy but, just as importantly, it reminds you that Ringo Starr is a right nobhead. This is the guy who is 'retired' from signing autographs for fans, who has made zillions with about as much talent as Katie Price, wasn't even the best drummer in The Beatles and who had the cheek to blame people from Wirral for local uproar when he upset scousers during a fleeting visit to kick off the city's Capital of Culture year.

A bad drummer with a big nose.

Review: The La's Stripped Back, Liverpool Academy, 9 September 2011

2011-09-10T20:41:00.001Z

I first saw The La's about 25 years ago. It was in the Royal Court in Liverpool and they were supporting The Icicle Works. Much as I love Ian McNabb, I remember it seeming as if Lee Mavers and his crowd had more local support. The band didn't even have any records out at the time but everyone in the audience seemed to know the words to all their songs and, by the time they finished with Lookin' Glass, the whole place was mesmerised.

Last night's show was pretty similar really. Virtually the same set list (no surprise there), no inbetween song banter (no surprise there), loads of Lacoste and Ralph Lauren Polo in the audience (no surprise there) and a really, really, really, good musician manfully carrying the whole room with him (erm, that is a surprise actually).

Obviously the songs were ace. Obviously I had a great time. Obviously it was like being a teenager again (well, almost) but what I didn't expect was to realise that Mavers is actually a superb one man band.

Last night's show wasn't The La's. It was just the main man with some bass help from one of the lads out of The Bandits, but from where I was standing it sounded like a full band were on stage. Mavers used the bottom strings of his guitar to add some extra bass, tapped it for some percussion and even added his own backing vocals. He was just one step away from having a bass drum on his back and cymbals on his knees. His voice sounded really strong too.

It was truly awe-inspiring for an old Mersey indie pop lover like me and there's hope for bigger things on the horizon. I know hearing a new La's tune is about as likely as tripping over the Lost Ark of the Covenants, but there is talk of a full band reunion. There have been loads of rumours about his health over the years and he does look skinny but Mavers seemed on top form to me. If the full band is ever going to get together to do something worthwhile, I do sense that it might be soon. Fingers crossed.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 0, Yeovil 0, League One, 3 September 2011

2011-09-04T10:55:00.005Z

For some reason, I've agreed to be the 'manager' of my eldest boy's football team. We're the b team under 8s and we've got a few players who haven't even played an organised game of football before.

We played our first friendly together yesterday and got absolutely hammered. I don't think I'm actually allowed to print the score.

Yet despite this I was really pleased with them. The scoreline flattered the other team and the kids who hadn't played before did enough stuff in the game to think they had made a contribution and could say to their mums and dads "Did you see me when I made that pass/tackle/run". The biggest plus though was that every single one of them came off beaming, having enjoyed a real game of football, in a team, with a kit and a real pitch with real goals with real nets.

Proper, priceless stuff that.

Mrs H's feedback on my first stint as a would-be Mourinho was that I shout too much and sound too aggressive. I didn't realise that, but I'll have to take it onboard. I don't want to be one of those Playstation managers my friend Michael Taylor warned me about.

Maybe this determination to not get so wound up is why I didn't join a gang of clowns who were booing Les Parry and the team after Saturday's game at Prenton Park.

I've not forgotten that I was loudest among those who thought Parry getting the job as Tranmere manager was a joke of a decision and made us a laughing stock, but, to be fair, on Saturday his hands were tied slightly. Our most creative and intelligent player Andy Robinson is out injured and our only other real creative force Martin Devaney went off crocked early on. After that, we resorted to route one and didn't even do that very well really.

But even so, we're 11 points from five games, unbeaten at home and have a good defensive record, making us light years away from the shambles of an early season we suffered last year and the year before.

If it goes to form, we'll lose away to Huddersfield next but if we can pick up four or six points from the following two winnable home games against Carlisle and Wycombe, we'll still have a points tally that shows us punching above our weight.

Amsterdam, John Head, Fun Lovin' Criminals: Ear I Am gets out to a couple of gigs

2011-08-29T17:59:00.003Z

There are plenty of reasons I should like Amsterdam. They've got one brilliant track for sure, Home, and a handful of other decent ones I suppose. There's also a regional thing going on - I tend to feel an irrational warmth towards Mersey bands - and the main bloke behind it, Ian Prowse, says he's a Tranmere fan too.

He also seems like a very friendly, approachable type, on stage anyway. And very enthusiastic too.

I think it's that last bit that is the main reason I just can't get to really like his band. It's like he's trying too hard and, to me, it just isn't very cool. In fact, and I say this from bitter personal experience of being an old Wirralian, he just comes across as a bloke from the posh side of the Mersey who is trying really hard to be one of the lads around town. I can see why they're popular with some people for sure, but it just isn't for me.

I popped over to the Mathew Street Festival on Sunday, partly to see Amsterdam. I'd never watched them before and I had promised myself that I should but by the end of their 30 minutes, I was glad I hadn't paid for the privilege.

Contrast that though with what I thought of John Head. I don't know the ins and outs of the Shack story but it's obvious that there are two really talented brothers in the Head family and that, given his wings, John might just get as many plaudits as Michael. His songs are highlights on the Shack LPs I've got at home and I reckon he's got a massive album in him. Hope it turns up one day.

I recorded him singing Cornish Town, which is just a brilliant song. Sadly, for anyone with sensitive ears, my iphone recording makes it sound like him and the band are just bashing it out, which believe me they didn't. Where Ian Prowse's set is full of energy and over exuberance, John Head's has got grace and style. That's the difference.

Having said that, both of them could pick up a few tips from the absolute stars of the weekend for me. Fair play to St Helens Council for putting on a show at the same weekend as Creamfields and the Mathew Street Festival - and when loads of young un's had headed off to Reading too - but total respect to whoever it was at the council who got the Fun Lovin' Criminals to agree to play.

"Fun Lovin' Criminals in St Helens?" I hear you say. Yep, I know. They're far too big for a little get together like that but I'll tell you what, they didn't show it. For nearly an hour and a half they had six or seven hundred people jumping up and down and singing along to a greatest hits set. Absolutely brilliant and if they're coming to play a small town near you any time soon then make it your business to get there.

And, although I'm sure I'm very late to party on this one, it was only while watching them play on Saturday that I spotted the fact that Huey is most definitely the coolest bloke in pop. Stick 'em up punk!

Cheshire Game & Country Fair 2011

2011-08-27T13:34:00.002Z

Years ago the firm I worked for had the Southport Flower Show as a client, so I know what a difference the weather makes to the success or otherwise of a big event. When it rained there were long faces all round because, when the sun shone, thousands of people just turned up and paid on the door. As there were some bonus payments involved based on attendance levels, you can imagine how many of us were praying to the sun god the night before the show kicked off.

The organisers of the Cheshire Game & Country Fair must have done something to upset the sun god if today's weather was anything to go by. That was a bit of shame, because there seems to be much more going on there compared to the previous years I've attended - the trouble is that heavy rain literally dampens the mood and there didn't seem to be too many smiles among the folk who had paid a tenner each to get in.

Having a five year old as your travelling companion doesn't help matters either - especially when he is resisting all efforts to get him to wear a coat in the rain.

We did enough to make it worth going though. Adam had a go at crossbow shooting, painting stuff, those big bungee/trampoline things and had a owl flying to him in the falconry arena - so we made an effort. He was just disappointed the Disney HD obstacle course kept closing due to rain.

The weather can't dampen everyone's spirits though. Look at these fellas. Fair play to them but I'm dying to know at what point in your life you think to yourself "Yes, I wouldn't mind a go at that".

The First Noel LP

2011-08-24T18:15:00.002Z

Noel Gallagher is bringing a new LP out and he's out on tour. I'd certainly go along to see him (if someone stumped up for the ticket of course, because I never pay more than 20 quid).

I don't know anything about the new songs he's come up with, except that they're probably really good. He's got a nice voice and an uncanny ear for a tune. My old friend Mark Barlow used to tell me that Blur were better than Oasis and as I've got older I've tended to agree with him, but Noel knows how to write melodic indie pop better than anyone.

He'll get a bit of a slagging though. Oasis ended up being unpopular with the twitterati and other types of clever clogs because they waddled into a kind of overblown stadium rock slobbery, lights years away from the up and at 'em Burnage no marks who reckoned they were going to pick up where The La's left off.

But I reckon that loads of those folk who turn their noses up at Oasis (Beady Eye are crap, I admit) will end up singing along to at least three new Noel Gallagher songs this side of Christmas. A good melody beats a good muso any day of the week.

Back in the National Trust. First stop Crick Castle

2011-08-24T16:10:00.001Z

Being the astonishingly middle class family that we are (what? Ed), we rejoined the National Trust last week. I'm not sure why we let our original membership expire - just laziness I think. If you live in the North West there are obviously loads of reasons to join and through which you can easily get your membership fee back - Speke Hall, Dunham Massey, Tatton Park, Lyme Park, I could go on.

It's easy to get blase about treasures like those that are on your doorstep and so to kick us off, I thought I would venture slightly further afield, taking Sam and Adam to Crick Castle in North Wales. It's only about an hour or so from our place in Newton-le-willows but I swear the kids thought they were on holiday.

The castle itself, the old family home of the Myddletons, a great play area, fab ice cream and loads of outdoor sunny stuff to do all went down well, but the most popular thing seemed to be the den making. I remember a similar thing at the Eden Project although that was more artificial. What they have basically done at Crick is say here's some sticks, get on with it. The kids love it.

The only downside is that because we signed up to be members at Crick, rather than one of the more local places to us, our car sticker is in Welsh. I've got nothing against Welsh people of course (my name is Hughes after all) although I do predict we'll get the car kicked in next time we are at Prenton Park. Some clown is bound to accuse us of being Wrexham fans. Our Gavin won't be happy either.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

2011-08-16T16:27:00.000Z

Right, I've had a major barbershop incident and I'm not too happy about it. I distinctly remember talking to the lad in Charisma in Earlestown and specifically asking that I have the clippers on number 0 for my sideboards. Look what the **** he's done.

Last time I looked my sideboards were positioned somewhere between my ears and my cheeks. They did not consist of THE WHOLE OF MY HEAD.

Seriously, this is bad. Mrs H has been using words like 'thug', 'yob' and skinhead. Kid 1 has taken the mick relentlessly. The best suggestion either of them had was that I wore a suit and tie for a few weeks, so that I don't get arrested. At the time of writing I'm thinking about buying a hat.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 1, Chesterfield 0, League One, 6 August 2011

2011-08-08T15:14:00.002Z

The last time Tranmere did something radical with the match programme was back in 1985 (I think) when the traditional matchday magazine was dispensed with completely and replaced with an A6 folded leaflet featuring the team sheet, a few words from Bryan Hamilton and a load of ads.

At the time, the move caused such an uproar among the 1,500 or so of us who used to attend regularly that, after five or six games, a 'real' programme was reintroduced, featuring the team sheet, a few words from Bryan Hamilton and a load of ads.

Those leaflets are probably collectors' items now. I sold mine to a programme collector years ago.

Content-wise, the current programme is about as interesting as the 1985 leaflet. I'm trying not to be too negative but surely even the most ardent fan could not describe any of the 72 pages as essential reading. It's strange really because Les Parry's page used to be quite funny until he became manager. Now it seems as if it's exactly the same words as those in the chairman's spiel, just with a different picture at the top.

But I love what they've done with the front cover this season. Every home game the cover is going to be based on the design of a programme from a different year in the club's history. Apparently it's to mark Tranmere's 100 years at Prenton Park.

For Saturday's season opener, the design was based on the programme from the 1981-1982 season, which was the first time I ever visited Prenton Park. I think it's also about the last time we won on the opening day of the season.

I exaggerate of course. I've actually read that Saturday's win is the first time we've won an opener for five years, but I can't remember it at all. In fact the last time I remember us winning on day one was back in 1990 (I think) when we beat Fulham away 2-0. Me and a couple of mates went to Craven Cottage, which seemed very glamorous compared to Port Vale or Hereford, where we were more used to playing.

Anyway, about the Chesterfield game. We looked OK and I'm still glad I've bought my first ever season ticket. Interestingly, I didn't notice the absence of Dale Jennings at all so maybe selling him for £600,000 up front plus add-ons was a no brainer after all - although reading today that Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is going to Arsenal for £12m (!) reinforces my view that Bayern Munich have got the better end of that deal.

Review: Hotel Miami, Es Cana, Ibiza

2011-08-04T09:48:00.002Z

In the spirit of The End, whose compilation of back issues should be out some time soon, I thought I would jot down my review of mine and Mrs H's trip to Ibiza, with kids 2 and 3 in tow, as a kind of Ins & Outs. Here goes:

Ins

Paying for 'all inclusive' and then eating out for the last six nights because the place got too overcrowded
Sink or Swim. Both the main pools are too deep for little kids but ours certainly found their water wings. They had great fun
Pate for breakfast. What a top idea
Getting up at 6.30 to beat everyone else to the pool, just to prove that I could do it if I wanted
Owning five inflatables when you've only got two kids with you - then leaving them all behind (inflatables, not kids)
Cool mini speedboat things that are actually worth the 20 euros per half hour that they cost
Walking straight onto the beach from the hotel
Clear blue seas that look nothing like the one I used to paddle in at Ainsdale
Cruzcampo, on draft, ice cold AND FREE
Being half p*****d by 12 noon
Finding songs on your ipod that you had forgotten about
Reading 17 by Bill Drummond
People watching and wondering how many people are watching me
Fish on the menu, every meal, every day
Not looking at twitter or Facebook
The man who wore speedos and a cycling top to the pool every day
Pink knees
Gluttony
Making secret plans to conquer the world

Outs

The woman who reserved 14 sun loungers every day, when there were only six adults in her group. The rest were for kids. I wish her very long delays on the way home
People who reserve sun loungers at 6.30am and then don't show up until the afternoon
People who reserve sun loungers at all
Hotels that allow people to reserve sun loungers and so allow all of the above to happen
The bloke who leaned over to me and whispered: "They're all fackin' ignorant ain't they?". Me: "Who?". Him: "The French or the Germans or whoever the fack they are. Never get out the fackin' way when you're carrying a beer do they? Fackin' ignorant, that's what they are." Sometimes I am ashamed to be British, although presumably I must look like the kind of tosser who would sympathise with him
Me to woman next to me: "I don't recognise that accent. Is it Dutch or German?" Her: "County Omagh". Me: "Oh".
Women who push in the dinner queue at peak times because their fat kids haven't got enough chips on their plate
Going all inclusive and still spending a packet
Bad wine in plastic cups
An indoor games area that smells of wee
Jellyfish

For those who are interested in this kind of thing, I think kid 2 won the "whose name will be used most on holiday" competition, as in "Don't Sam", "Sam, stop it", "Sam, no", "Sam come back", "Sam where are you?" "Sam stop being mean to your brother". Congratulations Sam!

Blackburn Rovers players make complete fools of themselves to promote chicken

2011-08-04T08:01:00.000Z

I just have to share this with you. I thought football stars had image rights? What on earth have the Venkys put in the Blackburn Rovers players' contracts to force them to appear so ludicrous?

Pub crawling around Bromborough

2011-07-23T12:21:00.002Z

I hardly ever visit my hometown Bromborough these days. If I'm dropping someone off after the match, that's about it and I can't remember the last time I was there for more than about an hour.

We had a great family get together there yesterday though, with me and one of my brothers trying to recapture all our yesterdays by getting stuck into an impromptu pub crawl. Unplanned ones are always the best, aren't they?

We took in the Merebrook (obviously), The Cromwell (or whatever it's called now), the Brom, the Three Stags and the Rose and Crown. The only one that is still as I remember it is the Rose & Crown.

We had a good laugh and good drink but I was a bit sad to see what's happened to some of our old haunts. The Merebrook is the worst. When we used to drink there, it was a riot and all day sessions were the done thing - not just at weekends either. The pub was (in)famous for its Monday Club.

These days its more like a Saga convention. The average age of the customers there must be about 75 and every other person seems to be waving a 2 for 1 meal deal voucher or something similar. It smells of bad pub food too. How very sad.

What's happened to pub culture in Bromborough really took me by surprise. The world has been taken over by the big chains and their cheap scampi and chips with onion rings. Small towns are much the worse for it.

Thank the Lord then for the Wirral Tandoori. The real reason for our family get together was because one of my brothers was celebrating his 40th birthday and what better place to meet up than the curry house where we spent nearly every Sunday night after the pubs closed, back in the day?

I can't decide if the food is better or worse than the last time I went (about 10 or 15 years ago probably) but all I do know is that it tastes great. I've always said it's my favourite Indian restaurant anywhere in the country, and I've been to a few, and I'm going to stick with that. The Murgi Masala is to die for and I've got to find a way to eat there more often.

If it's so easy to buy a football club, how come nobody has bought Tranmere Rovers yet?

2011-07-20T09:38:00.001Z

Remember that old PR goof "a good day to bury bad news"? I had that in mind when I watched Channel 4's excellent documentary "How to buy a football club" on Monday. Surely, in any other week, Bryan Robson's involvement in setting up a deal to to take control of various football clubs would have made the front pages.

If you haven't seen it, try and catch up with the show on 4OD. It's really worth it.

To be fair, the fact that the powers that be have little or no control over who owns the English game is no longer news. Nor is it shocking that the fit and proper person test is a completely useless invention.

But the former England captain being caught on film as part of the bait to attract buyers is absolutely breathtaking TV if you ask me. In the show, he doesn't say or do anything illegal but viewers will surely have made up their own minds about the bloke.

I can't imagine ManYoo boss Sir Alex Taggart was too happy about the show either (another channel he can refuse to do interviews with I guess). Like Robson, Fergie doesn't do or say anything against the law in the show, but the very least he can be accused of is keeping some strange company.

Oh, and on the Tranmere front, we're still owned by Peter Johnson, who is increasingly making me eat my words. OK, he's refusing to invest. OK, he doesn't given us much too be hopeful about every time he pleads poverty on the club's behalf, but his unwillingness to finalise the now dead deal with Club 9 Sports does increasingly look like an honest stance with the club's interests at heart.

PJ wants his money back, but it does seem like he won't sell us down the Swanee in order to get it. I suppose I should be grateful for that.

Growing our own veg: an update

2011-07-14T11:42:00.001Z

Worried Ear I Am readers have been contacting me in droves recently, concerned at my lack of vegetable related blog posts this year. Some are wondering if I'm less keen that I used to be on making the most productive use of our postage stamp-sized patch in our back garden in Newton-le-willows.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Eagle eyed users of twit pic will already have spotted the bumper haul of strawberries we enjoyed the other week. We've just about seen off the first early potatoes and should be dipping into the second earlies this weekend - and our apple tree looks like it's going to be a scrumper's dream

There's loads more still to come as well. Beans are on the way. Courgettes have started cropping heavily. Beetroots are just starting to show.

I've used pots for leeks, carrots and onions, which is proving to be a masterstroke. With very loose soil to grow through and lots of space for each plant, I think we're heading for our best harvest ever come Autumn.

The one thing that has changed quite a bit this time around is that we've actually grown some non-edible stuff too. Mrs H had a moan that, since I'd gone all Hugh Fearnley-Vegetable, the garden had no colour at all, which made her sad.

I thought I would do something about that and so with a mixture of plug plants and stuff grown from seed I've livened up our borders no end. If I say so myself it's looking quite good at the moment.

Winwick car boot sale, via The Hollies farm shop

2011-07-10T20:18:00.003Z

I love The Hollies.Not the band of course, but the food shop(s) in Little Budworth and near Stretton. You need to remortgage every time you shop there, but you can't argue the food is just superb.

If it was nearer Newton-le-willows, we'd probably be bankrupt by now.

Just to put it into context, we bought a few veggies, some local (-ish) cheese and a couple of other bits when we were passing yesterday. We fitted the lot into three small bags but managed to spend as much as some people do on a month's shopping. Ridiculous.

To salve my conscience on having blown the shopping budget on a few shiny red peppers and some Blue Stilton, today I popped along to Winwick Car Boot sale with my brother-in-law Andy to see if I could 'win back' any of the money I'd invested in food porn.

I just about did it. I sold hundreds of things this morning - old kids' clothes, a few toys and stuff we'll never pass on to anyone else. I just about broke even compared to what we spent at The Hollies .

All's well that end's well I suppose, although it did cross my mind that we had to get up at 6am on a Sunday and sell, sell, sell for about seven hours just to earn what I'd splashed out yesterday - although, as our booty included a healthy sized tub of malteser-flavoured ice cream from the unbelievably fantastic Cheshire Ice Cream Farm (go there, you must!), then I think it was worth the effort.

The best ice cream ever invented. Fact.

Review: Paul Heaton, The 8th, Manchester International Festival

2011-07-08T08:39:00.000Z

I've been to see The Beautiful South once, years ago, in Sheffield. I can remember it being one big singalong with most of the people in the audience knowing every single word Paul Heaton had ever put to music.

That's part of the appeal of some music to me. Like Billy Bragg, Nigel Blackwell and a handful of others, it's not the tunes that get you going, it's the words. I'm not into poetry at all and most classic novels go way over my head, so songwriters are the closest thing I have to great wordsmiths and Paul Heaton is one of the best.

Add that to the fact that he was born in Bromborough (my home town), his Dad was on Tranmere's books at some point (and Liverpool's and Everton's) and that he once turned down a trip to the Milan derby with Loaded magazine so that he could have a drink in The Vine in Liverpool with some of the lads from The Side and you can see why he's one of my all time heroes.

The only trouble with last night's show was that I couldn't hear the words. You rarely can at a gig I know and I sound like an old fart, but it was kind of important that the vocals were clear last night, with it being the first time The 8th had been performed live. The lyrics were in the programme but I would have needed a torch to follow them in the dark that was the back row of the Albert Pavillion

That was a bit of a shame really because you knew that the show would have involved a good tale, with some really clever observations along the way. I guess I'll have to wait for the song to be available on iTunes to find out exactly how good it was.

But hey, patience got its reward at the end of the show when the ensemble cast belted out a handful of classics from the Paul Heaton back catalogue. I discreetly sang along with Mike Greaves who made a decent fist of Old Red Eyes is Back, despite clearly not knowing the words himself and I was reminded of what a strong singer Jacqui Abbot really is, with her leading on a song or two and pitching in when necessary to help those who knew the tunes less well. Apparently she hasn't sang with her old bandmate for over 10 years. That's a real shame. They really must do it more often.

How to be a woman

2011-07-01T17:15:00.001Z

If for some reason Mrs H had turned me down when I asked her to marry me all those years ago, my poor second best would have been Caitlin Moran. I'm sure she (Caitlin) is delighted at that tribute.

Anyway, my favourite Times columnist has written a book. By the sounds of it (or so The Guardian says at least) it's ace - but am I allowed to read it? It's called How to be a Woman, which isn't at the top of the list of things on which I feel I should be looking for advice. Will it be OK for me to take it with me as poolside reading when we are Hotel Miami in Ibiza later that month? I'm not sure.

There's an excellent film that explains the book - and which has made me want to read it even more, but it's not free to air via YouTube so I can't embed it onto the blog.

Instead you'll have to watch it on the Caitlin Moran website, but that's no bad thing. It's worth a peek, even if you're a bloke.

Pros and cons of Total Fitness in Warrington

2011-06-30T11:42:00.002Z

Although some people think we swan around as if we are Lord and Lady Newton, me and Mrs H are not made of money. When the monthly fee for the five of us in our family who were members of David Lloyd in Warrington threatened to top 200 quid, enough was enough and we packed it in.

Bit of a shame really. I had just figured out how to use some of the machines in the gym, but never mind, we'll rejoin when we win the lottery.

A couple of months later we signed up as members of Total Fitness in Warrington. I was the driver for this, thinking that I really did need to do something to slow my descent in couch potatoship - and it looked like we could do everything we wanted at Total Fitness for around a third of the price of what David Lloyd was threatening.

The other big influence on our joining was the promise of swimming lessons for our two young boys. After we chucked the towel in at David Lloyd we took them along for lessons at Selwyn Jones Sports Centre in Newton-le-willows, but it was a disaster really. The lessons are an absolute free-for-all and the whole thing reminded me of that great picture of bisons piling over the clifftops to their doom, in a chaotic stampede.

You get what you pay for I suppose but, by the same token (Total Fitness being miles cheaper than DL), what have I found out in the two months since we signed up at our new gym?

Good:

Our swimming teachers are ace. In just a few weeks Sam and Adam have come on leaps and bounds.
There's a little mini gym and a few computer games so you can use the exercise machines yourself but take the kids along, if you need to.
The hydrotheraphy pool is good. Took me a while to figure it out though - so I just sat there in still water pretending that was what I intended to do all along.
There's an indoor running track, which is useful when you've had enough of the hamster's wheel.

Bad:

The men's changing rooms and toilets smell like a sewer. In fact, the men's urinals were completely out of order when I was there on Monday - and they were still closed yesterday. Disgraceful.
What's with the insistence that everyone has to wear those stupid swimming caps? The changing rooms reek to high heaven and you're bothered about a bit of hair in the plug hole?
Far too many exercise machines are 'out of order'. Not good enough!
There has been a spate of thefts from the men's changing rooms - three in the last week according to one of the cleaners there. Scallywags are breaking into lockers and nicking car keys it seems. Hey, s*** happens I know, but I'm not best pleased at the response of Total Fitness. You might have thought they would consider putting CCTV into the locker rooms to discourage thieves, but apparently not. The only response I've seen so far is an A4 sheet of paper stuck on the wall reminding us that Total Fitness are not responsible for any loss of property. #fail - as they say on twitter.

A solution to the Lurpak Spreadable problem

2011-06-28T15:44:00.003Z

One of my biggest food related gripes is that Lurpak Spreadable is not. Spreadable, that is.

This is a great shame as I'm keen on the brand, partly because of their excellent food finder website feature and an app that they've developed, but also because Lurpak tastes good.

However, back to the point. Lurpak Spreadable does not spread. Straight of the fridge, it just sits on the knife like a slightly slimy chunk of rock hard cheese. There is no chance at all of spreading it thinly over a piece of sliced white until it has been out of the fridge for at least half an hour

This is an issue for me. Some mornings it's my turn to make the kids' sandwiches for school. Half an hour waiting for the butter to thaw is not a viable option on these days. We're in a race against time to get washed, eat breakfast, watch Power Rangers and get out for work/school as it is. Waiting for the butter to reach room temperature is a luxury we can't afford.

Cue Lurpak-laden knives ripping through slices of Milk Roll, one inch thick lumps of butter hiding under wafer thin ham and full sandwich boxes and hungry kids returning home from school at the end of the day.

But hallelujah. Thanks to my brother-in-law Keith Pollit, who I didn't have down as a butter expert, my spreadable hell is over. Keith pointed out to me that, if you leave the silver foil over the butter when it's in the fridge, the butter doesn't solidify as much as it cools. When you want a butty, you just get the Lurpak out and spread it all over. Brilliant stuff.

Surely it would be a good idea for Lurpak to have told us this trick. Like me, I'll bet millions of other folk lob the silver foil in the bin as soon as they open a new pack, totally unaware that they're chucking away any chance of spreadability (new word?) at the same time.

There should be some kind of instruction on the packaging. There isn't. I know this because I have checked. It just says "Keep Refrigerated", which is not very helpful at all in my experience.

I'm sure it's posts like this one that keep Ear I Am readers coming back to this blog for more, day after day, week after week, so I can only apologise. Keith actually let me in on his solution to the Lurpak Spreadable problem a good few weeks ago, but I've only just got round to sharing it. Very remiss of me. Won't happen again

Northern Echoes. Three part documentary on Tranmere Rovers in the mid 80s

2011-06-25T06:12:00.005Z

I am already desperate for the new football season to start but it's still only June. To pass the time I've been looking at all kinds of old films about the club on YouTube. This one is great and I'm sure you can spot a 1985 version Nigel Blackwell in the crowd.

The Osterman era was a rubbish period for Tranmere but I've got good memories from that time. Frank Worthington was a legend. Nigel Adkins is sporting a wonderful mullett and muzzie combo. Ian Muir - who had just signed for the club at this time seems to have a perm. Great days!

Who needs the internet when you've got the local library?

2011-06-24T19:30:00.000Z

I've properly turned my back on Spotify. All of this 'only five plays of one song' guff and a limit to how many hours you're allowed to play songs for free has turned me right off. Yes, I am so stingy I begrudge spending a tenner a month on a 'premium' account where apparently I can listen to what I want, when I want.

A very old friend of mine (like, when I was ten and he was 8 or summat) let me know through Facebook that I should be trying Grooveshark instead. Cheers BJ (that was his nickname when we were VERY young). I'm going to give it a go.

In the meantime though I went back in time and popped into Newton-le-willows library to see what they had to offer in their CD library.

What a find! They've got enough there to keep you stumbling over new music for months and you can hire as many albums as you like for a quid each. I started with some 'fairly' recent stuff by Graham Coxon, Paul Heaton, The Coral, Seasick Steve and Noah & The Whale. I liked the Paul Heaton LP so much I then went out and bought tickets to see him at the Manchester International Festival next month.

And of course, every LP I like I can then copy into iTunes and play it wherever and whenever I want, without an internet connection or a Spotify subscription.

Obviously I won't though. that would be an infringement of copyright and illegal. Home taping killed music, don't you know?

Kevin Sampson and Liam Boyle preview Powder

2011-06-20T11:04:00.000Z

I went to watch the film Away Days when it first came out but I wasn't a massive fan. In fact, I seem to remember I left ten minutes before the end so that I could catch the last train home.

It wasn't just that the film didn't actually mention Tranmere Rovers, which was a bit crap when the club was fundamental to the story I read, it was that - to use the cliche - the film just wasn't as good as the book.

Anyway, the next one of Kevin Sampson's stories to get the big screen treatment is Powder. It's a while since I've read it but I think I enjoyed it. Will it work as a film? Here's the writer and Liam Boyle talking about it:

Incidentally, if you are not a Tranmere fan and are interested in Kevin Sampson I would start with Outlaws. That's my favourite. If you're a Liverpool fan, I'd start with Extra Time, which is also great.

Open Farm Sunday at Red Bank Farm

2011-06-13T21:25:00.004Z

OK, it poured down, but I didn't feel sorry at all for the folk at Red Bank Farm in Newton-le-willows who had to brave the elements for their open day on Sunday. From what I could see, loads of people turned up and they were spending wads of cash in the farm shop.

Not that we need much encouragement to do the same. I've just polished off the most magnificent fillet steak that we bought on the day, which is outrageous behaviour for a Monday night I know, even by Lord and Lady Newton's standards.

There wasn't actually that much to see by the time we turned up. Spring lambs, a few chicks and ducklings, the cattle shed and some piglets - although I'm not sure what else I expected. It was an open day on a farm after all. Sam and Adam enjoyed fighting over who got to sit in the tractor, but that's just par for the course.

The event was part of something called Open Farm Sunday, which is a UK-wide effort to put communities in touch with their local food producers. Anyone who knows me doesn't need telling that I think that's a good idea.

And, looking at the list of sponsors, Open Farm Sunday looks like it's got a few quid behind it too. Interestingly I see ASDA is there among the big names supporting local farms. I hope their buyers remember that next time they're trying to barter over the price of a pint of milk.

Incidentally, while I'm on the subject of the best food shop in Newton-le-willows, I believe Red Bank's rib eye steak and its steak and goats cheese burgers have won some kind of award from the North West Fine Food lot. The burgers are three quid a pop but they sound worth a try. I'll report back when I've given them a go.

The Slow Readers Club

2011-06-11T08:05:00.000Z

An old colleague from my days at Rattle PR, the very talented Aaron Starkie, is the lead singer in a band called the Slow Reader's Club. I don't know too much about the music but the name of the band could have been made for me.

Mrs H often comments that, for someone who makes a living messing around with words and stuff, I have an astonishingly short attention span when it comes to reading books. It usually takes me several weeks, sometimes more, to get from cover to cover.

I bring this up because I still haven't finished The End of the Party by Andrew Rawnsley, despite it being one the most readable books I've ever picked up. I'm really looking forward to blogging on what I think of the central characters in the tale, but I'm worried I might never actually get to the end and so might never get the chance.

So I'll jump in early instead. In a nutshell: Blair - ruined by ego, Brown - mad to Shakespearean proportions, Balls - odious, Miliband (Ed) -doesn't come out of it looking very good in my eyes and unlikely to get a vote from me in future, politicians in general - appalling bunch who are just about the last people who should be left in charge of the country.

I'm on page 660 by the way, and counting.

What's so good, or bad, about the Travellers Rest in Lowton?

2011-06-06T21:24:00.000Z

One of the most popular posts I ever wrote on Ear I Am was about the Travellers Rest in Lowton.

At the last count there were 17 comments on the post, most of which are singing the praises of the grub and the people who run the place. Many of the comments are 'anonymous' though. Should I be suspicious?

Eight Hundred Lives and The End

2011-06-06T21:08:00.001Z

I was quite pleased to have Phil Jones, who was one of the blokes behind The End fanzine, leave a comment on a post I made some time ago. He mentioned in his comment that there is some talk of republishing old issues of The End. Hopefully it happens.

I stumbled across something else involving Phil recently. Eight Hundred Lives was an ambitious attempt to create a permanent record of some of the lives of the people who live or lived in Liverpool. Presumably it was something to do with the city's 800th birthday, which was in 2007 I think.

I don't know how far they got with the project, but they did get some interesting people to take part. I see Levi Tafari and David Morrissey are among those featured on the Eight Hundred Lives website.

For Phil Jones's part he relays a few tales about his life experiences, from living on Cantrill Farm to Hillsborough to Capital of Culture with various stop offs inbetween. His stuff about Eric's back in the day and of The End fanzine itself are interesting, if 80s nostalgia is your thing. Click on the links at the site to hear the audio of Phil Jones being interviewed.

Why is there no English word for schadenfreude, when we love it so much?

2011-05-26T09:02:00.001Z

Compared to a lot of my peers and friends, I was quite an early adopter of twitter. I'm among the first to defend and promote it too. I remember quite a few folk who are now avid tweeters being very sceptical of it when I first started to use it. The standard accusation was that twitter was for twits, spelt with an 'a'.

Sometimes I have to agree with that view and the past few weeks, when the whole of twitter has been awash with super injunction stuff, has been one of those times. For all I think twitter is great, there really are an astonishing number of self righteous pseudo intellectuals who use it (or maybe it's just the people I follow).

Solly Blog has put the whole super injunction thing to bed much better than I would, so I'm not going to touch on the rights and wrongs in my eyes, but I will make a point about why I was interested in the first place.

Voyeurism, gossip, titillation, net curtain twitching schadenfreude. That's it. Not the rights of rich people to pay to gag people. Not the freedom of the press. Just lovely, juicy, tittle tattle.

You see, I don't personally know the footballer in question (can I mention him yet? Steve Kuncewicz has got me worried) but I feel like I do. He's been in my life for years. I've never met him, but I think I know what he's about because he's a celebrity who is on my radar. It wouldn't be the same if the person with the super injunction was just an actor on a Sunday night ITV costume drama, hypothetically speaking of course, because such a person just would not be on my radar. I wouldn't care about such a story, if it existed.

But when the Imogen Thomas story broke I was all over it. Not that I give a stuff about the right to privacy or otherwise in this instance, or about the power of twitter for that matter. I am - and most other people are - much more shallow than that.

All I wanted to know was: Do I know the player? Do I know the girl? Is she fit? Is she a slapper? Is she saying anything that will genuinely make the lad squirm and which the rest of the football supporting world can revel in?

Incidentally, the answers in my mind were yes (someone told me), no (never heard of her before), yes (to be fair), yes (to be unfair) and no (not yet anyway).

But millions of twitters users claim not to be asking those questions at all. "Do we care?" They bleat. "We honestly don't want to read about what he's done, we just want freedom of the press". Etc. Etc. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Do you know what? I don't believe them at all. I reckon most people's mental thought processes when the story broke were similar to mine. At the risk of sounding like Littlejohn, trendy leftie twitter types just won't admit it, that's all. I'll bet that on Sunday they'll be hiding the News of the World in their copy of The Observer too.

Martin Stephenson and the Daintees, Slaughterman

2011-05-25T17:11:00.001Z

I share quite a lot of musical favourites with my good mate Des (who I haven't seen for absolutely ages, sorry fella!), but he also likes loads of stuff I can't get my head around. Jazz for one. No need.

Martin Stephenson is another. Des loves him. Maybe it's because he's a fellow Geordie, I'm not sure, but all I know is that I've tried but just find his music really, well, dull.

All that is, except this one - Slaughterman. It's a great tune. Typically, I seem to remember it being just about the only one by Martin Stephenson that Des didn't like.

Anyway, here's the song being performed live last year. You can find anything on YouTube, can't you?

Tall stories

2011-05-22T20:46:00.000Z

The recent lack of posts at Ear I Am would suggest I've not been up to much lately - well, not much worth reporting at least.

That couldn't be further from the truth. There's all kinds going on at the moment. It's finding the time to jot them down onto this blog that's the problem

Take Longfella for example. Only now, after ten full days, am I getting round to telling you about the tallest poet I've ever met.

Longfella is the stage name of a Manc poet called Tony Walsh. I was lucky enough to see him do a turn the other week at a charity gig put on by Forever Manchester.We had a pint and a good chat afterwards and it turns out he's a top bloke (I say this purely on the basis that he knew Steve Coppell played for Tranmere, before he signed for Man United).

It turns out he's just been laid off by Salford City Council and so is giving this poetry lark a go on a full time basis. The omens are good. When I met him he'd just got the nod that he was going to be Poet in Residence at this year's Glastonbury Festival. I'd say that was quite something really.

For the Forever Manchester gig, he performed a poem, the title of which I can't remember, but which was basically a tribute to all the things that make him love his home town - music, football and lots of other stuff. It was fantastic. The performance was filmed by the Forever Manchester lot and me and the other PR kids in the audience were haranguing the organisers to let us have a copy so that we could share it online. It hasn't turned up yet, sadly.

My friends from Liverpool and Wirral would probably disapprove of my bigging him up, seeing as how Tony is Man Yoo through and through but, fair's fair, he has also written an affectionate poem about Liverpool called Skies Full of Diamonds and Streets Paved with Bold. He sent me a film of him performing it but somehow I've buggered the email up so can't upload it into this post. Instead, you'll have to make do with the only thing of his own that you can find on Longfella's YouTube site.

It's called BOHEMIAN RASPBERRY: A Love Poem and it's very good. If we'd had a bit more of this kind of stuff and less Gerard Manley Hopkins, English Lit at Wirral Grammar School would have been much more bearable.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 0 Swindon Town 2, League One, 7 May 2011

2011-05-11T18:43:00.000Z

Seriously, I've spent five days trying to think of something interesting to say about this game. I've failed. Roll on next season.

Pay to play

2011-05-06T17:14:00.000Z

I've just been listening to Collapse into Now, the new album by REM. It is brilliant.

I'm a bit odd when it comes to that band. I never listen to their records when they first come out. For some reason, I think I won't like them, but I always do. As soon as the first guitars come in, it's recognisably REM and I always wonder what I was waiting for. After all, me and Chris Whitehead have loved them ever since we saw them do Pop Song 89 at Liverpool Royal Court.

It's pretty rare that I listen to albums in full these days. The shuffle function on itunes kind of put paid to that pleasure but, when I do, it tends to be on Spotify. I think that's because I'm so tight I begrudge paying £7.99 to itunes or, heaven forbid, for an actual CD, when I can listen on Spotify for free.

Unfortunately for me though, all that is coming to an end. Pretty soon everyone will end up paying a subscription if they want to use Spotify any more than sporadically.

I've heard some people say that this is no big deal. I'm sure I read one comment that said if you'd rather save £10 a month than listen to adverts in the middle of your playlist then you must be some kind of moron.

Actually, I don't mind the ads, myself. I work in that kind of world and so find some of them interesting and, at least so far, the ads on Spotify have been vaguely relevant to me and not too insulting to the average person's intelligence.

All that could change though I suppose, so maybe it's a good thing the free ride is over before they start interrupting great records like the latest REM one, so that they can play things like that stupid Halifax TV ad - which can only be aimed at the kind of strange people who think Lisa Riley is funny.

Tranmere manager John King and the 80s casuals

2011-04-27T11:58:00.000Z

I bought a cracking T-shirt this week. If you can't see it properly in the pic it features ex-Tranmere manager John King with one of his most famous crackpot sayings: "I can't promise anyone success but I can promise them a trip to the moon".

I can actually verify that Kingy was mad as cheese. I once interviewed him when I worked for The Side Magazine and he spent a good proportion of our interview singing Ten Green Bottles to me. Ian Holloway before his time.

Anyway a mate of mine picked the Kingy T-shirt up for me from one of the lads who runs the brilliant 80s Casuals online store. I've blogged before about the type of stuff they sell but if you need any further explanation I stumbled across this piece from a BBC documentary on young men's fashion. Jay Montessori is one of the blokes behind the site and he's interviewed here about how Burberry became a terrace label.

There's another good piece from North West Tonight here too. Poor old Gordon Burns looks like he's slightly outside his comfort zone on this one.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 4, Exeter City 0, League One, 25 April 2011

2011-04-26T20:14:00.000Z

I've done something unbelievably reckless. I've gone and bought me and Sam a pair of season tickets for next year.

Given the relatively regular disappointments I endure at Prenton Park, the depressing quality of some of the football that's been served up at home games, my continued bemusement at the apparent willingness of many fans to accept Les Parry as manager and my real frustration at the stalemate that exists between Peter Johnson and any chance of the club progressing, it doesn't sound the most sensible decision, I admit.

And when I add into the mix that I've every intention of visiting a few other grounds in our slow quest to earn Sam the title of youngest ever member of the 92 Club, my impulse buy seems all the more irrational.

But, do you know what? I've got a weirdly good feeling about next season. Not because I'm getting carried away at our result yesterday, when only one team (us) turned up to play, but more because I sense a bit of change in the air.

Preston and Sheffield United are coming down. They'll both bring a good away support to Prenton Park, making for a good atmosphere. Bury are coming up from League Two and with a bit of luck so will Accrington. They'll be good away games to go to - which is a rare treat. Our division has been packed full of Southern clubs for ages. Local derbies have been at a premium for us.

And there's still this talk about an American takeover at Tranmere. That will change things one way or another. Either we'll be able to offer more than £500 a week to attract new signings (that's what I've heard was offered to two of our current loan signings in a bid to make their moves permanent) or things will deteriorate even further, giving me someone new in the boardroom who I can pelt with rotten eggs.

Either way, I'll be surprised if next season is an uneventful one.

As to yesterday's game itself - we were great. Everyone played well and Lucas Akins scored twice. There goes another on my list of things I thought I would never hear myself say.

Turkish Delight

2011-04-11T17:09:00.001Z

We had a fab time at Center Parcs last week. It wasn't our usual haunt in the Lakes, this time we went to the Sherwood Forest version.

It's the same but different really. There appears to be a bit more going on in the Nottingham one, but I'm probably mistaken. Whinfell is nearer to us and the drive there is more scenic. That's about it really.

I decided to grow a beard for the week. This proved to be a stunningly unpopular move with Mrs H, who ended up calling me really quite nasty names in an effort to get it removed.

Personally, I thought I'd made a decent fist of it. here's me celebrating a razor free week (for me not him) with my good pal Andy Green.

I knew it would have to go in the end, but I was a bit wary of diving in head first with a rusty old Gillette so I headed into Earlestown to get the job done properly.

There's a barber shop on Market Square called Charisma , which is run by a young bloke called Scott. No frills but blimey he does a good Turkish Shave. Apparently he learnt it from his old boss, who is Turkish himself, and it's taken him about six years to get as good as he is now.

If you live in Newton-le-willows folks, I would recommend it big time. The best tenner I've spent in ages. Every man deserves one!

Ian McNabb, St Helens Citadel, 26 March 2011

2011-03-27T11:42:00.000Z

I've uploaded a few pics onto Flickr from last night's Ian McNabb solo show at the St Helens Citadel. Click on the link to have a look.

They're a bit out of focus, but you get the idea of just how close to the stage we were. I think it was what's known as an 'intimate' gig.

The Citadel holds about 200 and it was only half full, which made it a bit of an effort for him when it came to getting the crowd to sing along to some of his best choruses.

He was brilliant of course though, as usual.

Tesco, tattoos and why you can't buy fresh veg in Newton-le-willows

2011-03-25T15:15:00.000Z

If you follow me on twitter, you may have noticed that I'm occasionally bemused at how Earlestown, which is one end of Newton-le-willows, seems to be obsessed with tattoos.

I actually counted the number of tattoo shops between my house and Earlestown train station the other day. It turns out there are more places to get LOVE and HATE tattooed onto your knuckles than there are schools where you can learn to spell it. Only charity shops outnumber them.

All which paints a bit of a dim picture of the place.

But all's not lost. The local council has announced that it's going to commission a survey to find out what's up with the place, why there aren't better shops and what can be done to give it a bit of a lift.

The answer to all of those questions of course is Tesco. Earlestown doesn't have a large store by comparison with the 24 hour jobbies, but it hogs local shopping baskets all the same. I'm reasonably sure that if we didn't have three Tescos within a few square miles, we might actually have a greengrocer within walking distance - maybe even a fishmonger.

I'm amused to hear the local Tesco mouthpiece voicing his support for the survey. "It's important we know what people want," he droned on in the St Helens Star this week.

I can tell you what they want mate. Tattoos, obviously. Now why don't you set up shop doing that on the cheap and give other folk a chance to sell 'fresh' food that hasn't been transported half way across the world before its gets here.

The old curiosity shop

2011-03-24T18:04:00.000Z

I've been sharing the odd beer and an occasional cup of tea with a chap called Geoff Davies recently. Geoff is the bloke who set up the legendary Liverpool record store Probe and then went on to create the indie record label Probe Plus.

I always thought Probe Plus was a label for noisy punks with three chords and anger management issues. It is actually, but that's certainly not all that you'll find there. Geoff kindly filled my pockets with all kinds of old CDs from the different bands that have appeared on his label over the years and, cliche as it is, I'm finding myself actually interested in music for the first time in ages.

Some of the stuff is hard to listen to and some of it is not my cup of tea at all, but bands like The She, 420, Dead Poppies, The Onset and The Doonicans have reminded me that there's loads of good music out there that I haven't heard yet. I really should stick my head outside of my La's, McNabb, Waterboys bubble every once in a while.

I met Geoff at a Half Man Half Biscuit gig in Preston before Christmas (he's the band's manager, of sorts) and he's patiently put up with me badgering him ever since about working together on some kind of potted history of Probe and Probe Plus.

Maybe that will happen, maybe it won't but either way, he's a fascinating bloke. His head is full of tales about the shop and the bands that made underground waves in the 70s and 80s and he's more than happy to talk about them.

In fact he thinks there are a lot better tales to tell than one about an old record shop and the owner's gigantic collection of underground records.

One of them is about Crass, the anarcho punk band of the early 80s. Given that he used to distribute records to just about every indie record shop in the north of England, Geoff had a fairly good idea of what sold and what didn't. Crass sold - and then some.

He played one of their records to me when I visited his house a few weeks ago. It was hard going for someone with sensitive ears like me (!), but the story behind it is astonishing. The sales figures would make Simon Cowell's eyes water and Geoff reckons the band were easily selling enough singles to be number one in the charts.

But guess what - they never even made the top 100. Given that they were hell bent on disrupting the Thatcher regime and that for long periods they were rumoured to be under surveillance by MI5, conspiracy theories abound.

Fascinating stuff, even if you don't like the music.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 1, Colchester Utd 0, League One, 19 March 2011

2011-03-23T12:12:00.000Z

Anyone who reads my in-depth match reports from Prenton Park (plus the occasional away trip) will know that I rarely consider the game itself.

The quality of the pies, the state of the ground, football fashion, my love hate relationship with Peter Johnson, our paltry attendances, my six-year-old lad evolving into being a real football supporter - yes, they're all fair game at Ear I Am, but you're unlikely to read much here about what actually happened on the pitch during the game.

If that's what you're looking for then I would recommend you pop over to Oh My Word, Barlow, a blog devoted to the highs and more often lows of life at Tranmere Rovers. The guy doing the writing seems to have a better memory of the actual matches themselves than I do and his recollection of events last Saturday against Colchester is uncannily accurate.

Please can I hold your hand Mr Capello, Please, please. It's my turn, please, please. You promised! Please...

2011-03-23T11:48:00.000Z

Is there anybody out there who has not been cringing at the John Terry England captaincy saga this week?

For me, it sums up just what is wrong with the whole England set up. The self-importance of those involved is astonishing. To listen to Terry you would think there was something more at stake than who gets to walk out of the changing room first, who gets to say heads or tails at the start of a game and who gets to wear a woman's garter on his arm for the next 90 minutes.

Truly ridiculous. Do you think if he's not captain then 'JT' is barred from shrieking at his defenders during the game? Do you think Gerrard or Ferdinand say nothing unless they've got they're wearing the armband? Or Rooney for that matter, or any of the other big gobs I could mention.

Of course not. In fact, in football, the position of captain is entirely meaningless. So Terry gets to sit at the front and hold Mr Capello's hand on the school bus. A big, fat so what.

I'm inclined to think it's a London thing and maybe us northerners just don't get it. Terry comes across as some kind of cliched cockney wide boy who actually believes geezers don't give him enuff respect when they're on his manor.

The London-centric football media play a big part in this too. I like reading Henry Winter and some of the others but, when it comes to reporting on England, their analysis is way over the top, fuelling the egos of both the players' and themselves. They really think that people want to read pages and pages of this tripe. Even more irritatingly, they now get airtime on national radio too.

I heard Oliver "Hi (insert name of footballer), it's Olly Holt here" Holt discussing the subject on 5Live on Sunday. To say he sounds pretentious just doesn't do him justice. I thought I was listening to Michael Stipe explaining one of his more obscure lyrics, not a poxy football reporter describing the psychology of a changing room he's never been in.

Come on Wales.

Jamie's bad dream

2011-03-06T12:32:00.003Z

I can't quite put my finger on what irks me so much about Jamie's Dream School, the first episode of which I watched this week - but something sure does.

It's certainly not Jamie Oliver that upsets me. I know others can't stand him but he comes across to me as a decent sort whenever I watch him on other shows.

It's not that the programme makes for rubbish TV either. I was transfixed from the start to finish of episode one and I felt my heart actually beating faster during the car crash television stand off that was David Starkey picking on one of the pupils for being fat (surely I was not alone in secretly willing the kid to get up off his seat and deck the pompous old fart?).

No, I think it's probably more to do with just feeling wrong in general.

Clearly, even though they're struggling at the start (which forms part of the 'plot' of course), most of the celebs will come out of it as heroes by the end of the series - which is just nonsense in such an artificial setting - and I'm struggling to accept that the 'teachers' want to take part because they think the 'pupils' deserve a second chance.

Indeed, the kids themselves are no better. Shoot me for cynicism but something tells me these young 'uns wouldn't be so keen on heading back to school if they weren't getting taught by celebrities and if their ordeal wasn't being shown on TV - fuelling their own chances of a place on Big Brother 2014: The Comeback.

Actually, when I think it through, that's my beef really. If Jamie's Dream School was presented by Davina McCall, I probably wouldn't notice it, wouldn't care about it and certainly wouldn't be arsed to mention it in a blog. It would just be another load of reality TV nonsense that passed me by.

But having Jamie Oliver behind it makes it seem like this is some kind of moral crusade that viewers should support.

What nonsense.

Mind you, the whole idea isn't totally irredeemable. In fact, with a couple of changes, the kids could really benefit.

Here's an idea Jamie. How about you take the fees that the show is paying to the five celebrities, give the money to the best five teachers in the country and allow them to teach the class for a whole year? It might not make for great TV but I'm sure you'll get better results.

World Book Day comes to Newton-le-willows

2011-03-03T08:32:00.000Z

It's World Book Day today. Apparently, kids across the world are supposed to go to school dressed as a character from their favourite book. Seemingly defying this instruction, Sam and Adam have decided to be a pair of clowns instead. Nothing new there then.

Match report. Tranmere Rovers 0, Yeovil Town 1, League One, 26 February 2011

2011-02-27T11:05:00.000Z

This match was all about wasted opportunites. Not on the field so much, nor even our throwing away the chance of putting some real distance between Tranmere and the bottom four, but more about recruiting a few more fans to Prenton Park in the future.

I blogged a while ago about how impressed I was by Wigan Athletic's attempts to boost the crowds at the DW Stadium, but Tranmere have been trying a few things themselves too recently.

I've seen various 'bring a mate for half price' type schemes at Prenton Park, but the offer for this Yeovil game was hard to beat. Football for a fiver offered exactly what it said on the tin. Five quid entry for any part of the ground.

The idea paid off in terms of attendance figures. If you discount away fans at Prenton Park, our home gates have been languishing in the four thousands this year. Yesterday, thanks to the five quid offer, we pulled in over 8,000.

Clearly gate revenue would have been down but hopefully they sold a few more programmes, pies and half time draw tickets to soften that blow.

But what a waste. The game was terrible. I think we had one shot on goal, which was when we finally got in gear with two minutes to go - and Yeovil can hardly claim the footballing high ground either. Both teams were poor and it wasn't the stuff to encourage fair weather fans to pitch up again any time soon.

Can I make a six year old a member of the 92 Club?

2011-02-20T15:04:00.001Z

My latest hare-brained idea is that I'm going to help make Sam, my-six-year-old lad, to become the youngest ever member of the 92 Club. If you don't know what the 92 Club is (shame on you), it's an exclusive group of football supporters who have visited every league ground in the country.

To be fair, I don't know who the youngest member is currently so I'm making a bit of a presumption, but if we get our skates on over the next few years I'm sure we'd have a good claim to the title.

He's off the mark already, having been to four grounds: Tranmere (obviously), Anfield, Rochdale and Huddersfield Town. I reckon we'll sneak a few more in before the end of the season - that is, so long as Mrs H doesn't kick off too much about it. I don't think she's that supportive of this latest 'project' of mine.

There was some debate about whether we should head straight for grounds that were new to both of us - or whether we should visit all the ones I've been to already, in order to tick a few easy hits off his list.

The thing is though, having reviewed the conditions of 92 Club membership, it turns out I've not actually been to that many places that meet the club's criteria. Here are a few rules that might make you recalculate your own list too:

If a club gets relegated from the league, they no longer count towards the 92 (that's Wrexham and Chester gone for me).
If a club gets relegated from the league and then makes a return, you have to visit the ground again. All earlier pre-relegation trips are null and void (see Hereford).
Trips to old stadiums don't count if a club moves ground (Sunderland, Doncaster and Stoke fall into that category for me).

All of which has substantially reduced the total number of grounds I've visited that would count for 92 Club membership to a lowly 21. The way Stockport County are playing means that's likely to down to 20 by the summer too.

Will Tranmere Rovers chairman Peter Johnson do the right thing?

2011-02-18T13:23:00.002Z

The potential takeover of Tranmere Rovers by an American company has caused a stir among the many Rovers fans who now use social media.

I've been following a lot of the conversation on twitter and I've hardly seen a single positive comment on the prospect of new owners and, maybe, new money coming into the club.

I understand the cynicism. After all, long before Hicks and Gillett, Tranmere experienced the downside of being owned by an American who clearly didn't care a jot about or understand how to run a Merseyside football club. The Bruce Osterman era was a nadir for Tranmere, redeemed only by the fact that we signed Ian Muir during that period and had Frank Worthington as manager, which was always good for a laugh.

I'm going to sit on the fence for now though. Sheffield Wednesday fans will tell you that Club 9 Sports are complete time wasters and that Tranmere should run a mile, but The Owls may end up with an alternative later on down the line. After all, they have a potential that must surely appeal to a decent investor somewhere.

Tranmere are less fortunate. What exactly have we got to offer a potential buyer? A bit of land maybe, but we're never going to achieve 15,000 gates on a regular basis so, if someone is prepared to put a small a amount of money into the club, which would at least make us competitive at our level, you've got to consider it.

After all, what is Plan B? The team and Les Parry, who you know I've not rated, are punching above their weight at the moment and we look OK - but it's not really sustainable is it? Not only do we have the lowest wage bill in League One, we compare unfavourably with lots of clubs in League Two as well.

By cutting costs Peter Johnson is making sure the club washes its feet, which is great and will ensure the club's survival, but it's not progressive at all. If you want more fans to come through the gates, you have to offer some hope at least - which means you've got to listen when someone proposes investment.

And talking of the Tranmere chairman, for good or bad, he is directly responsible for our current lowly status. He was our saviour in the past, but more recently he sacked Ronnie Moore for finishing 7th, he appointed John Barnes and he set the budgets that saw us resorting to the likes of Michael Ricketts.

But for some strange reason I actually do trust him to do the right thing when it comes to a sale. Many years ago the club could have sold out to Stephen Vaughan, the then owner of Chester City, but they didn't. Perhaps the cash offer wasn't good enough anyway, but I do remember Lorraine Rogers, who will have discussed it with PJ for sure, saying that Vaughan's proposals weren't in the best interests of the club.

There's every reason to hope then that, if these Club 9 Sports lot look like they're going to strip the club of what limited assets it has before flogging the ground to Tesco, then Johnson will turn them down and look elsewhere.

PlayStation managers

2011-02-13T12:57:00.001Z

I was talking to The Marple Leaf the other week about kids' football. His lot have a hectic life and are involved in all sorts but Marple Athletic FC seems to play a big part in the average weekend for the Taylors.

I've got a lot in common with him in that way. We fit a lot into our weekends in our corner of Luntswood Grove and Newton-le-willows FC U7s is an important part of it. Tuesday and Thursday training sessions, plus Sundays in summer and matches on Saturdays all have to be fitted in somehow.

One area where Michael and I differ though is in how we watch the game. He's a stoic, silent type, offering only a very quiet 'well done' if one of his kids does something well within whispering distance.

I'm quite envious of him for that, because I am the complete opposite. Watching my eldest boy Sam on a Saturday morning turns me into some kind of maniac.

You hear pundits on TV talking about someone on the bench tackling, heading and kicking every ball mentally, driving himself mad in the process. That's me.

Apparently, parents who behave like this are known as PlayStation managers - folk who stand on the sidelines but offer instruction non-stop throughout the game. Guilty as charged your honour.

When Michael told me about PlayStation managers, I resolved to change - but I'm sorry to say I am failing dreadfully. I can't help myself shrieking at the boy every time the ball goes near him (and often when it's at the other end of the pitch too!).

I suspect that part of the problem is that Sam, for reasons I'm still yet to fathom, plays in goal. Any parent who is in the same position as me will understand what I'm talking about here.

It's one thing missing a chance up front and it's one thing missing a tackle at the back but it's really quite another when your six year old son is the only thing between some marauding centre forward (yesterday's looked like he was at least 12 years old) and his team getting a good hiding. In my eyes, the goalies, particularly at such a young age, are so vulnerable you can't help but want to help and protect them.

All of which is why I spend 40 minutes on the touchline every week screaming like a banshee, telling him to come off his line, get back on his line, keep his eye on the ball, get his body behind it, clear the box and get back between the sticks - often all within the same breath.

No wonder he looks confused half the time. My only defence is that Mrs H is even worse than me.

The End Fanzine Blog

2011-02-11T15:34:00.001Z

Anyone with a vague interest in young working class culture pre 1990, particularly in Liverpool, will have heard of The End.

The Farm's Peter Hooton and some other lads put together the city's most famous fanzine throughout the 1980s, focusing on football, fashion, beer and, occasionally, some other stuff.

Someone set up a presence on Facebook for The End a while ago and it's worth tracking down if that's your thing (yes, believe it or not, I know some people who are still not on Facebook and never will be).

But to make things even easier, some kindly soul has started loading up material over at The End Fanzine blog. There have only been a few posts so far but hopefully new content will get added. There was talk about old issues of The End being republished but, as far as I'm aware, that hasn't happened yet so the blog is probably as good as you'll get for now.

I was particularly taken with a video featuring the lads behind The End being interviewed by John Peel on the Oxford Road Show. Peter Hooton looks about 12 in the clip. Maybe he was.

Why we will not be taking any policy from Direct Line Insurance ever again

2011-02-07T13:22:00.001Z

Some people who know me will already realise that I'm not big on cars. I think Jeremy Clarkson is a fool, his mates are slightly creepy and I do actually believe that stuff about blokes buying fast cars because they're lacking a couple of inches somewhere else.

Which is one the reasons we drive a tiny little Toyota Yaris. It's cheap, eco-friendly and doesn't go very fast at all.

We insure the car with Direct Line. Six or seven months ago we used to pay £29 per month for that privilege but, when our eldest kid passed her driving test late last year, that went up to £160 per month. An absolute disgrace, admittedly, but I understood the reason then.

What I wasn't prepared for however is the price of being caught doing a whopping 36 mph in a 30 mph zone.

We got our renewal notice through in January, asking us for the scandalous figure of £1,750 to insure the three of us.

Despite the figure being far too much already, I did know that, having got myself three points dawdling up the A6 in Lancashire a few months ago, I needed to declare it - so I did.

I was quite confident that the effect of this would be minimal, given previous conversations I've had on the subject. One member of my extended family (who reads this blog) had a very senior job in the Police before he hung up his truncheon and has actually discussed with insurance companies the effect of points on your premiums. Three points has little or no impact on the price, he said. And, believe me, this chap does not tell lies.

All of which conspired to make my blood boil when the Direct Line 'customer service' representative at the other end of the phone lectured me on the importance of declaring speeding convictions before upping the quote to two and a half grand, plus a minimum excess of six hundred and fifty quid!!!

Let's get this right. An £800 increase, a rise of nearly 50 per cent, for exceeding the speed limit by 6mph - with no other convictions at all. You get fined less than that if you actually rob a car and go out joyriding.

Incidentally, to compound my anger even more, you remember the £1,750 we were originally quoted before I came clean about my past as a Formula 1 driver? Apparently, it's so high because we made a claim after someone damaged the car when it was parked up.

"But I thought we had protected no claims?" I enquired, quite reasonably I thought. Yes we do, I was told, but - get this - the protected no claims protects your no claims protection but doesn't protect your premium from going up if you make a claim, whether you've got no claims protection or not.

Make sense? Of course it doesn't. It's a rip off, a crap product and in my opinion completely misleading.

All of which means that, even if I have to get the train for the rest of my life, I don't give a crock of s**t. Direct Line can do one.

The new Torres scores a pen and then jumps into the crowd to do a Cantona

2011-02-07T11:39:00.000Z

Surely that's a booking ref...

Work blog on Kellogg's PR in Manchester and social media

2011-02-07T11:34:00.000Z

I'm not really using Ear I Am for work stuff these days but I'll give a quick mention when I write something vaguely interesting over at my work blog, which is all about being a freelance PR in Mancheste r.

The latest post over there is about how PR folk can learn a lot from the way the Kellogg's PR team in Manchester uses social media. Have a look if that sounds like your thing.

Match report: Tranmere Rovers 2, Southampton 0, League One, 22nd January 2011

2011-01-22T20:32:00.003Z

I had plenty of reasons to believe Tranmere would be trounced today. Here are five to start with:

Southampton were the pre-season favourites and have been flying recently.
We beat them in a classic David v Goliath encounter at Prenton Park last season. Lightning doesn't strike twice.
We needed the points, therefore we won't get them.
Although they've been trouncing teams left right and centre, Southamption only drew their last home game against Exeter (I know this because it preventing me getting six out of six on my coupon last week. Bah!). Surely they would take their frustration out on us. I know I would.
I woke up in a bad mood today, foreseeing that Newton-le-willows FC U7s v Winwick would be called off because of frost (it was) and that Tranmere would crumple under pressure from a more than half decent forward line.

All of which stacked the odds heavily against Rovers today. In fact if I didn't have a rule of never betting against my own team, I would have lumped heavily on a Southampton win.

Shows what I know.

A great performance from Tranmere today. The new lad at the back, McChrystal, looked solid overall - so much so that maybe we'll get by OK without Marlon Broomes (although we do still miss Goodison). Showumni worked his socks off up front, John Welsh continues to be an absolute revelation to me and our new keeper Tony Warner was just magnificent. Apparently I missed his best save when I was queuing up for a pie but he made plenty of others. It was good to see he's got rid of his outrageous beard too which, when juxtaposed with his shaven head, had made him look like Mr Upside Down Man.

Dale Jennings was quiet overall but threatened at times and his finish for our second goal was just lovely. He's a class act.

On the subject of Tranmere's latest (only?) hot property, apparently Huddersfield fancy him for £500,000. If we do sell him for that then I'm taking some sort of industrial action. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, who did absolutely naff all for Southampton today is the same age as Jennings and is apparently also highly rated - so much so that I've heard talk of £10m being paid by some Premiership club or other.

What? If that lad's worth 20 times more than Jennings, then I'm Darren Bent.

Welcome to the cheap seats

2011-01-11T05:44:00.000Z

I once heard that absolute plank Alan Green declare that the people of Wigan don't deserve Premier League football because Wigan Athletic's gates were so low. This is about par for the course for Green. Take a look at the complaints section of his wikipedia entry if you need any more evidence of his idiocy.

Anyway, as a supporter of a club that gets a nosebleed if their home gate tops 5,000, I'm hardly likely to have much sympathy with his view that playing in the Premier League is somehow dependent on attendances, but the Wigan set up is a strange one I must admit.

I know it's mainly a rugby town and that in many ways, Wigan doesn't have much history (it only entered the league in the late 70s), but what always amazes me is that the ground doesn't even fill up when Liverpool or some other big name comes to town. You would have thought some of the bigger local clubs would fill up the JJB Stadium on their own but there always seems to be empty seats when you see the ground on TV.

But hats off to the club for trying to do something about it. One of the dads at Newton-le-willows FC U7s showed me a leaflet he had been sent by the club, detailing special offers for half season tickets.

I had to go to the website to check it out because it sounded too good to be true but, sure enough, you can buy half season tickets for dads and lads for £95. That's £14 per game for two people to watch the likes of Man Yoo, Everton and Spurs, all of whom still have to visit Wigan over the next four months.

Bearing in mind that I regularly have to pay six pounds just for a six-year-old to suffer the pain of Tranmere Rovers v Leyton Orient or some other such titanic clash, that's unbelievable value in anyone's book.

In praise of 80s Casuals

2011-01-11T05:20:00.001Z

Just a cursary glance around the Tranmere Rovers club shop tells you that there's not much to choose from when it comes to official branded clothes. I can't imagine anyone I know being seen dead in a club sweatshirt, the polo shirts look like they were designed by a six year old and don't get me started on the 'witty' t-shirts that turn up every now and then, featuring Ian Goodison or some other unfortunate soul. Even back to the days of Eugene Dadi ("Who's the Dadi? Oh, please......), it was evident that cool and Tranmere clobber are not happy bedfellows.

Thank the Lord then for 80s Casuals, a superb website that sells all kinds of gear that appeals to those who are nostalgic for Terrace Retro type stuff.

I'm told that one of the lads behind the brand is from the Wirral, or nearby, so it's only right that a Tranmere T-shirt is added to the range and I'm chuffed to see that they've done the right thing now. Their "I can't promise you success, but I can promise you a trip to the moon" Johnny King t-shirt is a limited edition of 40 but 'sources close to the company' (aka my mate Steve Youds) tells me they're making some more because they've proved really popular.

If you have a look at the site, it's worth digging around in the sale area too. I'm particularly taken with the t-shirt featuring a front cover from iconic Liverpool fanzine The End. It's a bargain at fifteen quid.

Match Report: Tranmere Rovers 2, Carlisle United 1, League One, 3rd January 2011

2011-01-03T20:57:00.002Z

When I first started watching Tranmere Rovers my heroes included the goalkeeper Scott Endersby, a part time cab driving centre forward called Owen Brown, a chap called Seamus Heath (for no other reason than I liked his name), a midfielder called Mark Ferguson and Ian 'Biffo' Griffiths, a 'tricky' winger who had the most impressively permed bonce I've ever seen on a man.

Back in the day, we used to to be able to get up really close to these blokes. When the final whistle blew, about 200 kids used to leg it onto the pitch and try to pile on the nearest Tranmere player. If you got close enough to pat one of them on the back it was a result. If they spoke to you, it was mega. If you got one of them to give you one of their tie-ups, OH MY GOD!

This was how it was at Tranmere back in the early 80s. While fans of other clubs fought over signed shirts and players' boots that had been flung into the crowd, Rovers supporters would fight to their last breath for an offcut piece of rag that had kept one of John Aspinall's socks up for a whole 90 minutes.

I distinctly remember getting hold of one of Colin Clarke's tie-ups and wearing it myself when I played for Bromborough Boys. It felt like I'd signed professional terms.

But I digress. These days you don't get that close to the players. You're not allowed on the pitch at the end of the game and you're unlikely to bump into many of our current squad on a night out at Ruperts in Birkenhead (is that still open?).

Which is why I was so pleased for young Sam today. Our eldest boy persuaded me to buy him a Tranmere Rovers autograph book and he kicked off his collection by accosting the goalie and various subs who came near the Kop end in the pre-match warm up. By the time we left Prenton Park today his haul included Joe Collister, Ash Taylor, Max Blanchard, Zoom and Lucas Akins. He was absolutely chuffed to bits.

And we were both happy with the game itself today too. It was proper exciting stuff. A wonder goal from Ian Goodison, three missed penalties, a good away turn out from Carlisle, plenty of booing for ex-Rovers clown Craig Curran, loads of fouls and a match that went right down to the wire in the end. Most importantly though, it was three points for Tranmere.

It's a while since I've been able to say that final sentence, so I'll leave it there.

Modesty killed the radio star

2011-01-03T20:29:00.002Z

Mrs H got a call from a researcher from 5live's Victoria Derbyshire show this morning.

She (my wife, not Victoria) had sent a text message to the show, complaining about St Helens Council's pathetic attempt at a bin collection service around Newton-le-willows in recent weeks. A few days of snow and about a week of ice has meant we've not had one bin bag collected from our house since December 16th. As rubbish mountains were the topic of the day, the researcher asked if SWMBO* would talk on air about this shambles.

Health and safety is the issue, according to the bin bosses.

B******cks. Lazy, shirking, can't-do attitude is the issue.

If it's so treacherous out there, how come I've managed to pack the car up and visit the local tip four times in the same period? How did Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and the rest of them manage to negotiate the hell that is Luntswood Grove on ice, just to deliver the weekly ration of citrus wipes and loo roll for us and our neighbours?

It's a proper scandal and is enough to make me vote. I'm astonishingly apathetic when it comes to local elections, but next time I'm going to find out who the local councillor is for Newton-le-willows and vote for anyone but him or her. If they can't do a simple thing like arrange for my bin to emptied once in four weeks, I'm not sure I trust them to do anything.

By the way, Mrs H didn't end up on 5live after all. She declined the opportunity because, I think, she's too shy. That's a shame because she would have put across the point very well and they wouldn't have had to bleep out most of her comments, unlike if they had asked someone else in our house.

*Rumpole reference. Read the books. They're great.

Match report: Rochdale 3, Tranmere Rovers 2, League One, 1st January 2011

2011-01-01T20:14:00.001Z

The food and drinks menu in the away stand at Spotland reads something like this:

Drinks

Lager
Bitter
Cider
Coke
Tango
Water
Tea
Coffee
Hot chocolate
Bovril

Food

Pies

That's it. Pies. Just pies. They are quite nice though, steak and potato, so maybe they don't need to offer any alternatives.

As for the game itself, Tranmere took loads of fans. I'd guess it was well over 1,000 because we pretty much filled the parts of the away section we were allocated - and, on the whole, the players responded effort-wise to the vocal support they were given.

Thomas-Moore ran his socks off, the young winger we have on loan from West Brom looked a handful and John Welsh was excellent in midfield. I've been critical of Welsh sometimes because he flatters to deceive but, since taking over as captain from ITM, he has looked superb. He's only 26 too and it's certainly not too late for him to play at a higher level again - although it obviously won't be with us, not if things stay as they are anyway.

It was hard to see from our vantage point but I'm pretty sure it was poor defending to blame for our losing today, again. Broomes gave away a penalty and was sent off for a stupid foul, the second and third goals seemed to go in without any challenge of note from a Rovers defender and poor Joe Collister in goal looked like a rabbit in the headlights.

When I watch Thomas-Moore, Labadie, Welsh, Jennings, Goodison and, occasionally, a couple of the others, I'm tempted to mutter that "We're too good to go down" but if we don't stop shipping stupid goals like this, down is the only place we're heading.

I enjoyed a gag that the recent spat of postponements has resulted in our longest unbeaten run for years, but in actual fact a mixture of bad weather, poor goalkeeping, silly goals conceded, one or two dreadful team performances and some rotten luck have combined to the point that we haven't actually won a game since 13th November.

We're in real trouble again - not that I ever thought we were out of it.

A word on Jamie Oliver's trainers

2010-12-28T14:44:00.000Z

I know a lot of people don't like Jamie Oliver, what with his mockney Essex wideboy patter and his use of the word "Pucker" in particular. Personally, I think he's great.

I've no idea if he's better or worse at cooking than any of the other celebrity chefs, but he won me over when he did that series based on his own garden. Anyone who grows their own (even if he's got a gardener doing all the hard work) is OK by me.

And his protest against crap school meals was one of the best PR campaigns I've ever seen, even if he couldn't persuade those fat, horrible parents who were later caught passing chippy dinners over the school gates to their kids.

The only cookbook I've ever owned until this year was Grub on a Grant, which helped me occasionally eat something other than take away curry and lager when I was a student at Leeds Poly - and I'm certainly no chef.

But somehow we ended up with a copy of his Ministry of Food book at some point last year and since then I've proper enjoyed serving up something decent to eat every now and then.

Mrs H is usually the cook round these parts but even she likes some of the stuff I've copied out of the book.

So much so that this Christmas I found a copy of Jamie's 30 Minute Meals in my stocking. I've not made anything yet but I'm whizzing through the recipes and figuring out which ones someone with my limited skillsets might be able to pull off.

I keep getting distracted by the front cover though. Much as I defend him against his critics, there's one thing I just can't ignore. Jamie - you're a multi millionaire. You can buy anything you want and I always thought you had at least some style about you, so what on earth are those trainers you're wearing?

Newton-le-willows father reveals true feelings when boy opens present

2010-12-26T13:35:00.000Z

The ten most popular blog posts on Ear I Am 2010

2010-12-22T14:01:00.000Z

Why do people actually read this blog? Because people do you know...

I like to convince myself that there is nowhere else that combines razor sharp wit with Tranmere Rovers, the Hughes family, Newton-le-willows, music and growing your own vegetables - and I'm pretty sure that's a safe bet too.

But with the power of Google Analytics at my disposal, I can of course find out what people actually read when they pitch up at Ear I Am.

So here goes then, this blog's ten most read posts for 2010:

How much is your football club worth? If Blackburn was £25m, do they really want £10m for Tranmere?
Gazza turns up to save Raoul Moat with some chicken, a can of lager, a fishing rod and a dressing gown. You couldn't make it up.
Eddie Bishop, creative midfielder? The ex-Rovers midfield hardman turns his hand to sculpture. No, honestly.
Introducing Solly Blog. My mate launches the best new blog I've seen in years. Follow it.
My footballing career highlights. Believe it or not, I actually thought of ten!
5Live breakfast leaves bad taste. That show's gone down the pan.
Nigel Hughes PR. Just in case you were wondering why I don't write about PR stuff on the Ear I Am blog anymore.
Ear I Am gets into some kind of twitter joust with Nicky Campbell. My friend Gary Quinn says this should actually be a 'twitter spat' He worked for the Daily Mirror.
Mad Men of Manchester. Fond memories of the time me, Tony Murray and a gang of other ne'er do wells got drunk and came up with a great idea for a TV show.
Mitch Poole and The Wild Swans. I came across this lot rather late in the day but they're good. Although the headline suggests it, Mitch isn't actually the lead singer - or in the band at all come to think of it.

Student debt back in the day

2010-12-11T11:53:00.002Z

I have some experience of student debt, not to the levels they're talking about now of course, although that wasn't for the want of trying.

I was 'studying' law at Leeds Poly when the very first student loans were introduced, back in 1990 I think. Taking the loan was optional but I was among the first ones in the queue for the £420 handout and blew nearly £200 of it within an hour on a Naf Naf sweatshirt (they were all the rage, honestly!) and a pair of Sergio Tacchini trainers (so were they, honestly!).

The rest I 'wasted' in The Skyrack and The Original Oak.

One of the lads I lived with spent £300 of his loan on a video camera. He wasn't studying film or anything. he just fancied one. Another lad headed straight to Stanley Casino with his cheque.

Within days we were all on our knees to the student adviser (known also as The Ice Maiden) at Barclays Bank (Merrion Centre branch), begging for an extension to our overdrafts.

That routine carried on for three years. Grabbing whatever was on offer, spending it on anything other than books and then begging for more. In truth I don't think any of us ever expected to earn any money at all in the future, so we weren't bothered how much debt we piled up. That's why my conscience was absolutely clear when I bought my first ever CD player with a £300 grant from the student hardship fund.

And yes, I'm probably still paying it all back - even at the ripe old age of forty something, which I am now. I don't have any debts titled 'student loan' but I'm pretty sure it's still there, hidden away at the back of a mortgage or in an overdraft somewhere. That's just life.

All of which makes it quite hard for me to sympathise with the students protesting against whatever it is they think they're protesting about.

Politics aside (although nearly every student Herbert I've heard interviewed so far sounds as if they don't understand the system at all), I thought this is what students did - get p***** up at the Poly Bop twice a week, fall in love with The Smiths, claim to never revise, grow their hair/shave it all off, pierce various body parts, muddle through with a 2.2, amass piles of debt, not give a monkey's chuff about it, get a job in a call centre.

Is that not how it works any more? That's a real shame. Part of the student experience is being carefree and not giving a toss how much debt you're in. They'll be worrying about their pensions next.

Take the loans kids and go buy a top of the range ipod and a new laptop. Life's too short.

The 1st Port Sunlight Christmas Food Fayre

2010-12-06T07:32:00.001Z

It didn't have quite as big a range as the North West Fine Food Shows at Tatton Park, but then again you didn't have to pay four quid just to park your car and it was only £2.50 to get in. If you like good food I'd get this one in your calendar for next year.

Here's the booty that came home with us from the first Port Sunlight Christmas Food Fayre on Saturday:

Five tubs of Morecambe Bay shrimps
A brace of pheasant
Smoked kippers
Pancetta from The Smokehouse
A box of different beers from the Peerless Brewing Company in Birkenhead
Some mint fudge
Sloe and vanilla gin
A load of onions

I had my first turkey sandwich of the year too. I doubt I'll have one that tastes better all Christmas.

The Saw Doctors, Liverpool Philharmonic, 3rd December 2010

2010-12-05T20:44:00.001Z

Bit of a last minute decision, but I popped along to see The Saw Doctors at Liverpool Philharmonic on Friday. Some thoughts....

My mate, the media whizz kid at Tangerine PR @garymquinn, an Irish man himself, has them down as the most underrated band over there. I'm amazed at that. They're totally unfashionable but they've sold shedloads of records and I defy anyone to listen to them and actually dislike them.
Anthony Thistlethwaite, multi-instrumentalist of Waterboys fame is virtually a full time member of the band these days. In itself, that's enough for them to be great.
To the bloke who tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to sit down, I HATE YOU! I had it in mind to tell him to stick it and be Shaun Ryder to his Gillian McKeith, but of course I didn't. Instead I sat down and tapped my foot and nodded my head to All The Way From Tuam, making me HATE MYSELF FOR BEING WEAK. AAAAGH!
On the same note, Liverpool Philharmonic is a wonderful venue, historic, charecterful and oozing with a charm that Manchester's Bridgewater Hall can't match - but it's not good for rock and roll shows. The sound in the upper tiers isn't loud enough and, by default, the place attracts pipe and slippers types. Saw Doctors shows are a riot, but the audience at the Phil drains their live set of its energy. Maybe they should have done a matinee for the old farts first.
On the same note again, The Waterboys are playing at the Philharmonic in Feb. Anyone who knows me understands how much I love that band, but I won't be going. Apart from the fact that they're asking a whopping 30 odd quid to watch them put WB Yeats poems to music, I'll say no on grounds that the venue is unsuitable for the type of show I want to see.
Trains need to run later. I had to leg it early when I watched Half Man Half Biscuit in Preston the other week and I had to do the same again on Friday. How can it be that the last train to Newton-le-Willows, Huyton, Rainhill and St Helens is 11.15? When will Merseyrail realise that the European Capital of Culture doesn't go to bed at midnight - or stay up all night and get the first train home in the morning?
I love the fast ones: Hay Wrap, That's What She Said Last Night etc but I like the slow ones too. Clare Island is my favourite....

A half of all fish caught at sea are thrown back overboard dead

2010-11-17T16:28:00.005Z

Admittedly, this is yet another Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall bandwagon that I'm jumping on but you know it's right. If you catch some fish by accident and it takes you over your quota for that particular kind of fish, you have to chuck it back, dead, or else get fined. Ridiculous.

Match Report: Tranmere Rovers 1, Plymouth Argyle 0, League One, 13th November 2010

2010-11-15T13:06:00.001Z

It seems to have been an age since Tranmere last produced a player that looked like he would make it big time. Ryan Taylor was probably the last one, although I always thought Iain Hume would play at a higher level than he did in the end.

And that's a problem for Tranmere. Like almost every other lower league club we need to sell at least one player per season for a decent fee, or else we run at a big loss. It's a sad reality, although everyone knows it's true.

But there can't be anyone among the four and half thousand Prenton Park regulars who doesn't think we've got an absolute gem on our hands in Dale Jennings. He's only 17 and he's only played a handful of games but I swear that opposition players are terrified of him - and while I was chief among those supporters who felt we had no hope at all this season, I'm now the first to admit the lad has turned Tranmere's season on its head.

He's fast, skillful, intelligent and has got a hell of a shot on him. Click on the link to see his goal against Plymouth on Saturday (although it will only be available on the BBC website for a week or so).

And what I like about him most of all is how he's inspired the others in the team to up their game. With Jennings on the pitch we look like something is going to happen and those in the team who have it in them but haven't always put turned up in recent times (yes, I'm talking to you John Welsh) now genuinely look the part.

I swear I even saw Ian Thomas-Moore smile during the match on Saturday.

Some of the older supporters say Jennings reminds them of Steve Coppell, when he first came onto the scene at Tranmere. He played only a handful of games for us before Man Yoo snatched him from us with indecent haste.

The real fear is that history could repeat itself. Honestly, he's that good and someone might grab him in the January transfer window. Personally, I'll be happy if he stays with us to the end of the season and helps us to mid table obscurity and a place in the lower league cup final at Wembley in May. He can go then, but not for less than a million of course.....

Who says video games create couch potatoes?

2010-11-14T20:33:00.000Z

Go on Adam, Get stuck in!

Ten reasons why I love Half Man Half Biscuit

2010-11-14T20:23:00.002Z

There are many more than ten reasons but in the spirit of blogs and lists....

Because the lead singer, Nigel Blackwell is called Nigel - and he supports Tranmere.
Because he used to play 5/6/7/11-a-side every Friday at Birkenhead Park with the likes of Kevin Sampson and other local luminaries. We tracked down Peter Hooton there to feature on the cover of the first issue of The Side.
Because the shiny bit near the label of their first LP, Back in the DHSS, has the words NIGEL'S DREAM: LIVERPOOL 0, TRANMERE 5 scratched into it. (Urban Myth Warning: This might not be true but it suits me that it could be).
Because my mum worked with Blackie's sister at Wirral Met and she got my copy of Liverpool, A Wondrous Place signed by the man himself. He signed it "From Your Showbiz Pal, Nigel". I was proper chuffed, although the the pic of Bobby and Sheila is equally amusing.
Because, according to @NeilTague's Brentford supporting mate Ben, he signs all his autographs "From Your Showbiz Pal, Nigel".
Because of the whole helicopter, The Tube, Friday Night is Tranmere Night episode. Everyone knows that one.
Because they used to have really funny lyrics set to dreadful music but after about ten years they discovered melody too. King of Hi Vis, Them's the Vagaries and Bad Loser on Yahoo Chess should be up there for a Novello.
Because they're on Probe Plus and I think in some kind of drunken stupor I hassled boss Geoff Davies into working with me on a book about him and Probe
Because they've been successfully "avoiding proper work since 1985".
Because I saw them play in Preston on Friday night and they were absolutely brilliant, again.

If, for some ridiculous reason, you don't know who I'm talking about, make it your business to find out more. Start with this live version of Vatican Broadside.

Who's got the soap?

2010-11-07T08:46:00.000Z

I was contacted by a guy who writes a mostly football-related blog called Early Bath. His company sells soaps that can be produced in any team's colours, which might be a decent stocking filler for someone I suppose (I'm more of a Nivea man myself, if you're reading, Nivea people)

To be fair the chap wasn't looking to overtly plug his company, he was genuinely introducing the Early Bath blog, but I thought it worth giving his business a mention all the same.

As regards the blog itself, 'Chants would be a Fine Thing' was my favourite post when I had a quick read through it this morning. The tale about the Frank Leboef chant in particular is a bit special.

Political football

2010-11-07T08:26:00.001Z

Nothing against Rochdale, but just about everyone I know was pleased to see FC United of Manchester win at Spotland on Friday night.

The FC Utd tale is a great one and most football supporters want them to do well just to prove it's not all about big business. The real United couldn't even dream of attracting that kind of goodwill.

So why they felt it appropriate to wave a political flag by refusing to appear on Football Focus the next day is beyond me. Apparently, this was a show of support for the striking NUJ members at the BBC.

What's this? Are FC United fans trade unionists? Do the original 500 FC Utd members speak as one on this matter? Or is this one or two individuals using the club's profile to soapbox an issue that has nothing at all to do with football?

Poor show all round, if you ask me, and it slightly took the gloss of what should have been a great weekend for the club.

A mate of mine who has been there since the club was set up reckons the vocal minority behind this stunt will get a slap on the wrist from the rest of the members next time they meet up. I hope so.

Introducing Solly Blog

2010-11-07T08:02:00.000Z

Although companies and brands are still setting up blogs left, right and centre, it's fair to say that the UK as a whole hasn't embraced blog culture as much as they have in the US.

In fact, there are very few people I know personally who actually blog just for fun/the hell of it/to get things off their chests and, after plugging away on Ear I Am for four years or so, I certainly didn't expect any of my pals to feel the urge to start publicly venting their spleen now. That's what Facebook's for, it seems. Or the pub.

So you can imagine how delighted I was to recently stumble across the online rantings of my good friend Mark Solomons, joint head honcho of one of the UK's best national news agencies.

I've known Solly for about ten years now. He used to work on the tabloids before he set up SNS with Simon Worthington and I first met him when I was trying to flog PR stories about Whitbread pubs to national newspapers.

I don't have that much to do with him work-wise these days, but we always catch up when he's in Manchester or when I'm able to pop into the Mutant Arms down in that there London.

Anyway, he's a proper funny bloke and his head is full of tales of mad editors, witless PRs and his days as a tabloid hack - all of which should make his new blog, Solly Blog, a must read for anyone with half an interest in this kind of stuff.

Me, Greeny and the mighty Tony Spelman play the Wild Rover

2010-10-18T10:44:00.005Z

I never got round to blogging about what a brilliant time we all had at my brother-in-law Andy Green's wedding to Amanda last week. I was an usher. My two lads Sam and Adam were page boys. I'll post some pics when I get them.

An absolutely superb day. You just can't beat a good wedding can you?

Andy put on an after show party for Mrs H and me at his house the day after we got married (all those years ago) and this time it was our turn to be the hosts. There are a few big families involved in the event so you can imagine how many people were crammed into our corner of Luntswood Grove.

The house was trashed by the end of it, but even Mrs H didn't seem to mind.

To cap the weekend off, the groom was insistent that we got the guitars out and had a big old Guinness, lager and red wine fuelled singsong (he even had his very own guitar made for him as an extra wedding present - check it out!).

So here we go then. Me, Andy Green and the mighty Tony Spelman play the Wild Rover. Are you watching this Simon Cowell?

(Hat tip: My other brother-in-law Keith for being sober enough to film it!)