All work undertaken

I spotted this van near work the other day. Turn my hand to anything, me.

Race for tickets

Music nights at Haydock Park usually range from the rubbish to the ridiculous.

Designed to attract extra punters to meetings where the card includes not a single horse that you've ever heard of, the acts that get booked as 'entertainment' often leave me scratching my head.

I remember Go West playing once, and I mean recently, not when they were famous.

This weekend though promises a new low: Non Jovi. Yes folks, Bon Jovi but without Bon Jovi himself or, I presume, any of his band or anyone who has even met them.

Suitably deterred from venturing anywhere near the course then, I thought I would have a quick look to see if the rest of the Summer's line-up was set to be as bad.

Hang on. Is this right? The Charlatans? At Haydock Park? Round the corner from my house? On 20th June? It blimmin' is you know!

One two, one two, this Mike's no good

The BBC's sports coverage is second to none if you ask me, except in one area - the football commentary on 5Live.

This is a matter of some importance on Luntswood Grove. Having long ago stopped subscribing to SKY Sports, radio commentary is the only way I can follow Big League Plc matches these days. Where's Kenneth Wolstenholme when you need him?

Last night's game was a case in point. European nights at Anfield are always good etc and it sounds like Chelsea were exhilarating too, but this must have come as something of a shock to Mike Ingham, who had foreseen a drab nil all draw beforehand.

Everyone's a pundit of course and we all get stuff wrong, but Ingham is particularly grating. His know-all predictions are invariably wildly off the mark and his post match summaries often describe a different game than the one everyone else was watching.

And when I hear his whining voice piping up on 5Live's breakfast show, it makes me yearn for Terry Wogan on Radio 2. "The thing is, you know, I was thinking about Capello and, you know what, thing is, you know...." AAAAAAAAGH! SHUT UP! PLEASE!

My dream is to put Ingham in a Room 101 of Punditry with Glenn Hoddle. The two could discuss how Michael Owen (40 goals for England) just isn't a 'natural goalscorer'.

And don't get me started on Alan Green and his self-righteous, pompous histrionics.

BBC BOSS: "Al, we were hoping you could do this one in the style of the Revd Ian Paisley commentating on an Auld Firm game."

ALAN GREEN: "Yep, I can manage that."

The Side magazine remembered - Part 2

Steve McManaman was the cover star for this issue, which served a purpose, for one person at least. I remember pitching up 'for work' one day at our Liverpool Road offices in Crosby and finding a fax from a female fan (of McManaman that is, not us), thanking The Side for brightening up her day with our full cover pic of Liverpool's shaggy haired (then) superstar. Some people are so easily pleased.

Also in this one we had Joey Jones (ex LFC left back who reckoned Wrexham were a better club than Tranmere. Hmmm), Graham Stuart (Everton weakling who later redeemed himself by keeping the Blues in the Premiership with a goal on the last day of the season against Wimblegone) and George Wood (ex-Everton keeper turned ornithologist).

My own razor-sharp interview skills were restricted in this issue to ten minutes with then TRFC full back Gary Stevens (him also of Everton, Rangers and England fame) and Simon O'Brien (Damon Grant, later to be infamous scouse local radio DJ).

Simon was the nicest bloke I interviewed in all my time at The Side. We met in The Central Hotel in Liverpool, had a lots of Guinness and laughed a lot. I was (am) a complete amateur at this interviewing lark so he let his guard down big time. Juicy bits included his filming for Standing Room Only in the middle of a ruck of German football fans and the time he played international football for Puerto Rico. Give me a shout if you would like to know more.

Incidentally, for those who may be interested in such things, he had no idea of what became of Gizmo from Brookie.

Beer I Am

Final score from our trip to the Newton Beer Festival.

Curries eaten: 1
Taste of India

Beers drunk: 7
Brewers Gold
Iceberg
Laughin' Gravy
Cheshire Gold
Blueberry Fruit Beer (3)

(HT: 0-3)

Andy Green told me he woke up with a headache. I suspect this is because he drank something called Skull Splitter. Does what it says on the tin I presume.

Meaty issue

I never imagined that our butcher would end up being a concern of monthly B2B magazine North West Business Insider.

Imagine my surprise then when I saw JE Cook in Rainford headlining the Insider daily ezine yesterday. Apparently they've merged with another firm in Maghull. Maybe there are 'synergies' to be had in sharing knives, who knows?

Anyway, hopefully the enlarged firm will stop vac packing all the meat they chop up for the farm shop at Highfield Farm in Winwick. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't mean the meat tastes more fresh. Meat needs to breathe and vac packing it just marinates it in its own blood.

That's what it says in the Book of Meat anyway.