Teacher's pet

You know the drill when you're planning for a day at the races. Racing Post over breakfast, top up with a bit of insight from one of the redtops during the day, fish around for a few tips on the internet, take a look at the horses yourself in the paddock and then watch the odds lengthen and shorten at the bookies on the course itself.

Only by exhausting all these routes can you rest assured that you've covered off all the angles and have enough information to place your 50 pence each way.

Alternatively of course, you could just follow the example of my good mate Des McDonough (he of the not so Crucial Three) during our trip to Haydock last night.

Diamond Des has never been to the races in his life. In fact, I don't think he's even placed a bet before, which was apparent in his approach to picking horses. In the second he plumped for Schoolboy Champ, a complete outsider with neither form nor hope, purely on the grounds that he himself is a schoolteacher. 20-1 in a six horse race. He didn't even back it each way. What a clown.

Yep, it won.